I'm Gonna Miss Her

If you are a registered voter and have a telephone (POTS) in Texas then you've probably gotten a call from one or more parties interested in your vote on Proposition 2 on November 8.

Article I, Texas Constitution, (The Bill of Rights) is amended by adding Section 32 to read as follows:

(a) Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.

(b) This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.

Proponents of this amendment say that it defends marriage by preventing homosexuals from getting married. Putting aside the fact that Texas law already prohibits marriage between members of the same sex, I'm not sure how, exactly, my marriage is threatened by a couple getting married, no matter what their gender, race, religion, national origin, etc.

Opposing Proposition 2 we have many groups, including one called, interestingly enough, Save Texas Marriage, which makes an interesting observation: clause (a) of the proposition defines marriage, and clause (b) outlaws it.

In other words, Proposition 2 completely abolishes the institution of marriage! It is expected to pass by wide margins.

I'm gonna miss her.

Still Here

Haven't posted in a while. Nothin' to say, really. Not that what I normally write about is significant.

Family was sick last week. Mom and 2 of 2 had strep throat and are on antibiotics. 1 of 2 and I are feeling kind of down, but not quite sick.

We made it through Halloween. Rain stopped in time to go out and shake down the neighbors for candy. Didn't seem like as many folks decorated this year. Back at home I used the 5-foot tall inflatable T-Rex to answer the door (ROAR!) — didn't scare anyone. :-( And hardly anyone came by to get candy.

Unrelated, Texas continues to surprise me by remaining undefeated. Will be rooting for Miami this weekend.

I Smell A Wumpus!

My new computer is getting close to fully configured now. So I'm starting to see the effect of the extra 1000 marketing megahertz. What, you're not familiar with marketing megahertz? Well, they're closely related to MIPS, which used to be a common way to measure the speed of a processor. MIPS used to stand for Millions of Instructions Per Second, but then got redefined as Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed. After MIPS died people seemed to become enamored of megahertz and then gigahertz, largely thanks to the efforts of Intel.

Unfortunately for consumers, megahertz (MHz) and gigahertz (GHz) are no more useful than MIPS for figuring out how fast a processor, or a system, will be. AMD decided to get off the treadmill by naming their processors with an equivalency number. So an AMD Athlon XP 2000+ was supposedly equivalent to an Intel Pentium 4 running at 2 GHz (2000 MHz). The AMD Athlon XP 2000+ itself ran at something like 1600 MHz.

Unfortunately for AMD, the game has changed again. It turns out that processor makers are now up against the wall on MHz/GHz and are having to do other things to make their processors and systems better. Since MHz and GHz are no longer the dominant differentiators, Intel has dropped them from processor names and AMD has been left with a marketing megahertz number on their processor that doesn't really help much in figuring out which Intel processor to compare it to.

But I digress (though, to be fair, isn't that the point of a blog?). Anyway, my old system had an AMD Athlon XP 2000+ running at 1600 MHz or so while my new system has an AMD Athlon 64 3000+ running at 1800 MHz or so. It's only about 200 MHz faster in some oscillator, but it's a whole thousand more in marketing MHz!

Of course, the interesting question is, is it any faster? Well, I dunno. Downloads of stuff are still limited by my 1.5 Mbps DSL line. Uploads are even more limited by the 384 Kbps limit of my ADSL connection (why does no one call it ADSL anymore?).

OOH, ooh! I could try some games! Okay, I fired up adventure. I'm still clueless. How about wumpus? Wumpus still gets me every time except for the times I fall into a bottomless pit. Screw the games. Business apps? Darn, doesn't seem to echo my keystrokes any faster in OpenOffice.org than it did before. I know, personal communications! Crap! AIM (actually, gaim) doesn't seem any faster. Still limited by my typing, network, AOL's servers, and the attentiveness and typing skills of the people I converse with.

So what was the point of this upgrade? Well, for one thing, the old system was breaking somewhere in the memory interface and was locking up far too frequently. Running Linux, I'd gotten used to not dealing with the BSODs and lockups that still plague my wife's computer. And second, I couldn't stand the thought of spending a couple hundred dollars and not getting something that was, at least theoretically, faster. And this one is, theoretically, faster. By 1000 marketing megahertz.

I was right! Phew!

I'd been having problems with (computer) system stability and finally decided that it was something besides memory, even though memtest86+ showed lots of errors. My suspicions were raised when I put the memory in my wife's computer and memtest86+ thought it was fine there. Unfortunately, my wife's computer also ran the memory with very conservative timings which, in addition to reducing memory performance by at least 1/3rd, may have also allowed the memory to work without error. I'm not willing to run my system crippled in that fashion, so I gambled that the memory actually was okay and ordered a new processor and motherboard.

They arrived on Tuesday and I finally had the time to install them on Friday. The first stick of memory, the newest, showed one error at a single address, but only about once every three passes or so. Running at full speed. This same stick had shown hundreds of errors every pass at a wide range of addresses, when run in my old system.

The second stick tested perfect at full speed over 14 hours (many passes through memtest86+'s test suite). Likewise the third, and oldest, stick.

So my gamble was right! There was something wrong with my old cpu or motherboard. I just wish I knew which it was. If I could find an AMD Athlon XP processor slow enough, and cheap enough, I'd like to give it a try. Unfortunately, cheap enough would have to be pretty dog-gone cheap to justify the effort because the problem could be the northbridge chip on the motherboard, and that requires a new motherboard.

Anyway, the new processor and motherboard are doing fine. I'm compiling Linux right now (writing this on the kids' computer) and am looking forward to a newly stable system.

Oh, and I have to get that memory stick replaced. It has a lifetime warranty and the manufacturer has a reputation for honoring it.

Why not $10?

Or at least $7.60?

I'm talking minimum wage. The Senate just rejected a proposal by Ted "Another Round" Kennedy to raise the minimum wage from $5.15 per hour to $6.25. Kennedy said that it was unacceptable that a single mother with two children working full time for the minimum wage was still $4,500 below the poverty line. Well, $6.25 would leave her $2,700 below — is that acceptable? Why didn't Kennedy propose raising the minimum wage to $7.60 per hour? At least that would put the hypothetical worker at the poverty level.

But the bigger question is, why should someone working full time have an income at the poverty level? Shouldn't someone with a full time job earn enough money to not be living in poverty?

I know we can get into all kinds of stereotypes about what poor people have, or expect to have. Like big screen home theater setups, new cars with $4000 custom wheels, pack-a-day cigarette and 6-pack-a-day beer habits. But if you think about the cost of a decent apartment (where gun shots aren't routinely heard at night), utilities, food from a grocery store, a car bought used (2 years old) and kept for 8 years, clothes, etc.; could you live on $15,200 per year? Even without a cell phone, cable TV, etc.? I don't think I could.

I think the minimum wage should be $10. At least.

But I'd have to be willing to give up the $1 menu at Wendy's. And prices might have to go up at a few other places. Maybe I'd eat at home a bit more, and I'd probably be healthier for it.

I recall that Henry Ford paid his workers the unheard of wage of $5 per day, thinking that he needed workers who could afford to buy his own product. Those wages surely increased the costs of his cars (compared to what they would cost if he paid less). And it is credited with increasing wages of other factory workers. I'm sure some prices went up as a result. But it didn't cause a massive layoff of workers and didn't throw the economy into a tailspin.

I say it's time to do it again.

Jesus and Java, Part II

Almost a year ago I wrote about Jesus and Java, admitting my confusion between coffee and a computer programming language and wondering how either related to Jesus.

But I just saw an article in USA Today about Starbucks' plan to put a religious quote on their coffee cups.

The quote, from the author of The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren, is part of a larger campaign, called The Way I See It, that includes quotes from writers, scientists, musicians, athletes, politicians, and cultural critics. So no, Starbucks isn't coming out of the closet, so to speak, and joining companies like Chick-fil-A as openly religious.

But it will be interesting to watch the commentary from those who are offended by the quote and from those who defend it.

One Man's Trash

"One man's trash is another man's treasure." That is the fervent hope of everyone who hosts a garage sale, and probably also of those who frequent them.

I should disclose up front that I am not a garage sale person. I have only been to a couple of garage sales, and have not been tempted to buy anything in them. Every person I've spoken to who has hosted a garage sale talks of the thefts that occur, and of the people who will haggle over a 10 cent item.

I am not a haggler, and I am not so proud of my trash as to think that other people should be delighted to have it.

Nevertheless, I succumbed to my wife, as all happily married men learn to do, and agreed to let her have a garage sale. But she had to do all the work. I moved a few heavy pieces and stood around during the sale pointing out who they had to haggle with.

My in-laws brought some stuff over, as did a neighbor. Some of it sold, some didn't. We made a little money, but I won't be quitting my day job.

One thing that was really annoying was the sign ordinance here in Plano. Basically, you can't have them. At least not in the public right of way, which extends at least 10 feet from the curb and includes everything up to and including any privacy wall or neighborhood entrance stuff. So we had one puny sign in a neighbor's yard near a minorly major road. The setback requirements made it hidden from view until you were too close to read the address before you were past it. And we didn't dare to violate the ordinance because the city has been cracking down on it in recent months (minimum fine: $500).

So we had virtually no drive-by traffic. If you didn't see our puny ad in the newspaper ($150 for three words) then you didn't show up. And you didn't. Maybe our next garage sale, in 2012, will be more successful.

This is Progress

I placed my order today. New CPU and motherboard. I reported earlier that I thought my CPU was going bad. I had several memory modules which were showing errors under memtest86+ when placed in my system but not when placed in my wife's system. According to the memtest86+ docs such problems could be caused by problems with the L1/L2 cache (on the CPU) or the memory controller (on the CPU for some CPUs, separate for others).

One way to do further diagnosis would be to try another CPU in the same motherboard. If the problems exist with the new CPU then try another motherboard but with the original CPU. The power supply (P/S or PSU depending on your religion) could also be a culprit. Of course, I don't have spare components hanging around and don't know anyone who does. So trying components means buying components. That can cost money, if they can even be found.

I went looking for a new CPU and discovered that they are not generally available. I'm talking AMD Athlon XP in the low 2000+ range (Socket A). Oh, I found a few — for shockingly high prices (supply & demand, I suppose). I wasn't willing to spend that kind of moola for a relatively old, slow chip. I even checked to see if my mobo maker (Soyo) offered a newer BIOS that would support faster chips in the Athlon XP line. They didn't. :-(

So I felt compelled to go for a new CPU/motherboard combo. For religious reasons I want an AMD Athlon 64 CPU. Don't ask why — it's a matter of faith which simply cannot be challenged or discussed rationally. ;-)

The problem I faced next is that the DIY computer biz caters to a community of geeks who have to have the latest, greatest, sexiest thing out there. The result is that anything older (i.e. over 1 year old) becomes very hard to find. And in the past year or so we have a new graphics bus (PCI Express x16, replacing AGP), new chipsets (e.g. nForce4 replacing nForce3, K8T890 replacing K8T800), new memory (DDR2 replacing DDR), new disk drive interface (SATA replacing PATA), and a new power supply connector (24-pin replacing 20-pin).

Yep, I have an AGP graphics card, DDR memory, ATA disks, and a 20-pin connector on my ATX PSU. And I want to reuse them all to save money. So I go looking for motherboards using chipsets which support my stuff, and motherboards using them.

Yeah, you're right again. Both nForce4 and K8T890 chipsets (the newer ones), don't support AGP graphics. And motherboards using them don't support 20-pin ATX power connectors. On the bright side, AMD still uses DDR memory and all motherboards still have a couple of PATA (IDE) connectors. Causing consternation, however, is that while they loudly brag about booting off SATA disks, they fail to mention booting from PATA disks (surely they wouldn't drop that capability — they still boot from floppy, after all).

I found several interesting motherboards that fit my needs, but when I went to find e-tailers who carried them I kept coming up empty-handed. Case in point, the DFI LanParty UT nF3 Ultra-D. The manufacturer's website labels it as NEW, but no one sells it anymore (it's actually old).

I finally ended up choosing an MSI K8N Neo2-F motherboard with an AMD Athlon 64 3000+ processor. Should arrive next week. Then I'll put it together and test my memory (again).

Wilma!

As of today, we have only one name left for naming Atlantic storms: Wilma. What happens if we have Wilma and then more storms? According to an article that Gebo will probably link to in a comment, Once we've run out of the 21 names on the list (hurricane names don't start with Q, U, X, Y, or Z) we start using the names of the letters of the Greek alphabet (Alpha, Beta, etc.).

Since the himmicane season lasts until the end of November there is a very real risk that we'll have a hurricane named Beta (the wonder dog?).

But I have a better idea, inspired by the last name on this year's list: name them after Flintstones characters! Oh, and weather reporters on the news should be required to yell the names in Flintstone style. (Unless anyone can remember a Flintstones Character starting with 'A', we'll just go straight to Bam-Bam!)

This is progress?

I've been having some stability problems with my computer lately, and I've come to the conclusion that the CPU is going bad. The real problem, however, is that I cannot be certain. The symptom is occasional lockups of random processes. Memtest86+ shows a boatload of errors, but with the caveat that the problem could lie in my cpu's cache.

I put the memory into my wife's computer and ran Memtest86+ there and the memory tests just fine, but the bandwidth reported is much less (about a third less) than on my system, leading me to believe that her computer isn't running the memory at its supposedly rated speed. I'm not overclocking my system, or even manually setting the memory timings — I let the system read the SPD from the DIMMs and do its thing. But I guess my wife's el-cheapo Compaq intentionally cripples performance to help differentiate systems by price point.

So the basic theory is that if memory tests good in one system and bad in another then you probably have a bad cpu (cache). Or a bad motherboard. Or a bad P/S.

So where to start? And how much will I end up spending? My memory bandwidth discovery (crippled performance in the low price computer) makes me leery of just buying a cheap computer. If I'm going to spend money — a few hundred $mackeroo$ — then I want to end up with a faster system, not just a newer one.

Sadly, my mobo is just old enough that I can't seem to get new processors, or even refurbished processors, for it. That means a new mobo/cpu combination, and probably a new cooler as well. But I have to be careful, or I'll need new memory (e.g. DDR2), disk drives (SATA), video card (PCIe), and P/S (ATX2) at the same time. I don't have that many coins in the old change jar.

Sigh. This is turning into a big research project that I really wasn't ready for.

In the Future

"In the future we will ... screw with batteries, ..."

That was part of an essay my third grader wrote in class yesterday. I asked him a few questions about some of his other predictions and then asked, "what does it mean that we'll screw with batteries?"

He said that batteries will include built-in screw drivers for opening the battery compartments on toys.

I suppose that the old, dead batteries will be used to re-secure the battery cover, but didn't get into all the possible scenarios with him. I was just relieved that he wasn't talking about battery powered sex toys! :-0

Hot Air

Wind, Rain, and Gas all have one thing in common: hot air.

I'm thinking, of course, of the hot air at the center of a hurricane and the wind and rain that accompany it. And these days we're all concerned about the effects of hurricanes on our gas supply. If only we could effectively harness all the hot air coming from both ends of our erected leaders (local, state, and federal).

Wait, back up. What rain? I live in the Greater Dallas Metropolitan Area and I got what I estimate to be 10 or 20 drops per square foot around 3:00 p.m. Central Daylight Time. That was it!

Now I know that one gully-washer wouldn't cure the drought we're in, but since we're supposed to be heading into our second wet season (wet season being relative, of course), I was kinda hopin' this would get us off to a good start. As they say, if a hurricane is inevitable, then you might as well lie back and enjoy it!

Back to the gas. To do my part to conserve gas I'm not going to drive to work for the rest of this year! Yep, that's right, I'm a gonna park that 6.8 liter engine in the driveway and walk to work! For the rest of the year!

Oh, wait, I've walked to work for about the last 2.5 years. And for the 5 years before that I only drove if I had to go to the airport for a business trip.

Well, okay, here's a real change: for the past couple of months I've driven my wife's minivan instead of my truck whenever possible. And we're both planning trips more carefully to minimize miles driven.

Now if only I could harness the methane that seems to be associated with the beans that are so prevalent in the Tex-Mex food that I love so much.

Yankee, Go Home!

Today, after 9 years in Texas, my friend, E, crossed the border into Arkansas with a U-Haul trailer on his way back to Maryland.

No, he wasn't fleeing Hurricane Rita. He was going back home to live with his Momma. :-)

Nah, while technically correct (for now), that wasn't the purpose of his move to MD. He took a job with the gummint and the job is in the 'burbs of D.C. E's mother lives in Glen Burnie, a town so behind the times that it doesn't have a web site. He's going to move into her condo for a couple of months to build up his savings before moving into his own apartment.

E's new job is with one of the so-called intelligence agencies, so he's changing his email signature to "00E". I don't think the new job includes a "license to kill", like other double-aught agents, but then again, he does have a driver's license and that's nearly the same thing here in Texas.

Anyway, here's to ya, 00E. Now go get a haircut. And tuck in your shirt. Put away the milk, too! I know you lived in Texas for 9 years, but did you live in a barn?

GO 1-3?

One of my kids just started playing Tee Ball and we had our first two games this past weekend. It's a lot of fun to watch, but it's a guilty pleasure because you're enjoying the complete and total incompetence!

Case in point, one of the few outs recorded (most innings end when the batting team scores 5 runs) came when a line drive bounced off the "pitcher" and rolled straight to the 1st baseman (slow enough for him to grab it).

I decided to score the play as a ground out, 1-3.

Let Them Snort ...

1) New Orleans has a crime problem (even before Madam Katrina blew into town). 2) Drug dealers are probably having a hard time getting product. 3) There are lots of houses with wallboard that needs replacing.

Here in North Texas we've seen first hand how even "experts" can't tell the difference between ground up sheetrock and cocaine. So I propose that the dealers take wallboard from flooded houses, dry it out, grind it up, sell it to the addicts, and donate a percentage of the proceeds to the cleanup effort.

Heck, just by removing the sheetrock they'd be aiding in the cleanup — without filling up the dumps! The addicts might also benefit by breaking their immediate dependency (since I doubt that snorting gypsum has the same pharmacological effect as cocaine).

Sounds like a win, win, win situation to me! :-)

OMG! Company's Coming!

If you're married then you've experienced the panic that precedes the arrival of company. Everything has to be spic-n-span, but make sure you put the Spic and Span away or the company will know that you cleaned up for them.

I can understand some cleanup. I don't want the place to be a pigsty, but since I've always been comfortable in what might be called organized clutter I've never understood the need to completely disrupt the normal functioning of your house to make it perfect for visitors. For example, why do I have to put away the stack of stuff next to the couch? I still want to go through that stuff and I'll just be moving it back right after the guests leave. That's not only wasted labor, but I suspect that everyone has such stacks and no one (at least not the husbands) will think any the worse of me for having it there in plain view.

In a similar vein, why do you have to clean something that isn't exactly dirty, or can never be exactly clean? Like the toilet? I'm not talking about a disgusting toilet, like some of my bachelor friends have. Our toilets get cleaned at least once a week. They don't have stains. They don't stink. To casual observation they're pretty clean. When they become not pretty clean they get cleaned.

But I just got sent to clean the toilet — company's coming! We have knives in the kitchen and I like to sleep at least once a day, so I did as ordered.

Then company arrived. An 8-year old and a 6-year old.

Boys.

For a play date with my kids.

I have a new item on my visitor list: Why clean something if its cleanliness (or lack thereof) won't be noticed by the guests?

Free At Last

Free at last,
Free at Last!
Thank God Almighty,
She's free at last!

At 12:01 a.m. EDT, the gross injustice that was the Martha Stewart Incarceration was ended with the snip of a rubber band.

While we all undoubtedly rejoice at her renewed freedom, my soul fairly cries at the imaginings of the pain and anguish which Martha endured lo these many restless months. Months that can never be returned to her.

My heart aches. I'm sure that James Thomas feels the same way.

This is NOT your father's PM

I recently picked up a copy of Popular Mechanics after reading part of an article in a waiting room.

Aside #10 a.m.: Why is it that your wait in any waiting room is inversely proportional to your interest in the magazines they have available?

It was the September 2005 issue and has several really good articles.

Anyway, I was flipping through the ads at the back and right there with utility trailers, portable buildings, and log splitters, was an advertisement for LoveLiberator.

Oh, my.

I don't ever remember seeing ads like that in PM before, though it has been a while since I read one. I wonder if a future issue will have detailed plans to build your own vibrator (to soothe your sore muscles after spending a day splitting wood, of course).

Home Schooled University Degree?

GeBo's comment on my posting about the start of school in Plano raises more questions and thoughts than can be covered in a reply. Maybe more than can be covered in a single post. But here 'goes.

Gebo wonders why we can't home school our kids to a Harvard degree. My first thought is that we can — just look at W's degree at Yale. :-)

Okay, enough with the jokes. The first question that really comes to mind in this is what kind of diploma do home schooled kids get when they "complete" high school? The answer probably varies from state to state, but in Texas the answer is none. In fact, Texas considers home schools to be private schools and does not regulate them in any way! There are no attendance requirements, no test requirements, no curriculum requirements — nothing!

So when your home schooled child "graduates" from home school they only get a diploma if you print one or order one from the internet. Their "transcript" is whatever you type up.

So now I have to wonder, if my kid's public school performance sucked, can I just claim that they were home schooled on the college applications? How would the university check? Could they check?

So, back to the home schooled university degree. Since home schooled secondary school students don't get a diploma from the state or the local school district I can't claim a home schooled PISD degree. Similarly there is no reason to expect to be able to claim a home schooled university degree from any particular university.

Of course, everyone seems to be offering "distance learning" programs where you "attend" a university via the internet. So I could get a degree from many institutions without ever darkening the doorway of any building on their campus.

But that is playing by their rules and I'm into local control and want to protect my precious children from the corrupting influences of outsiders.

So what, really, is preventing me from home schooling my kids' college educations? Well, nothing, I suppose. Except the acceptance of that education by employers.

So, Gebo, school away. 'Course you'll have to have kids first.

Jesus and Java

What popped into your mind first, coffee or a computer programming language?

Of course, context matters a lot, and what I'm too lazy to show you is the graphic that accompanied the article with the title "Jesus and Java". It (the graphic) was of a steaming coffee cup and saucer, with a cross on the side of the cup. "Jesus and Java" curled around the bottom of the saucer.

Those of you familiar with the Java computer programming language are probably aware of the coffee cup logo that goes with it. (Check out java.com to see it.)

My first thought was of the programming language. I was curious to know what Jesus might have to do with Java. Was this going to be a diatribe against technology in general? Or perhaps a treatise on the evils of non-open source software? Or maybe it would equate object oriented programming (which often touts code reusability) with embryonic stem cell research? Or is garbage collection really just a metaphor for euthanasia?

Actually, it's none of the above. It's a bunch of singles (so I can't go) who get together to drink coffee and share their faith.

Dino-mite! (part deux)

Way back on the 18th of July I promised to post pictures of my child's room for your critical evaluation. They are finally here!

This shows the north wall, including the volcano in the NE corner. The alternating bands of light and medium brown are supposed to represent different geologic layers. Yes, the T-Rex fossil spans layers. It's called "artistic license". The dinosaurs on the ground are stickers ordered from The Company Store, but the pteranadon/pterodactyl is hand painted, as are the palm trees, rocks, ferns, etc. — all without stencils. (BTW, I don't care if palm trees didn't exist during the time of the dinosaurs. Nor do I care that theropods (like T-Rex) and sauropods (like apatosaurus) didn't co-exist. Artistic license.)

Here we see the SW corner of the room, including the apatosaurus mentioned above.

And finally we see the SE corner.

We're still needing to get some curtains, put up some high shelves to hold keepsakes, and put up a poster or two. I also still owe 2 of 2 a couple more fossils in the dirt.

Not shown is the window and the fossils under it (a fish and a trilobite), and the big and little dipper on the ceiling. They are done with glow in the dark stars, so they only show up at night.

We're #2?

Sports Illustrated's College Football Preview has Texas ranked 2^nd in the nation, trailing only U$C.

In the tech world people often talk about the reality distortion field that seems to surround tech leaders such as Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. The RDF causes ordinarily lucid people to believe anything they are told, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. I think that such a field must exist around the Texas football team.

Mind you, I'm a Texas grad. Even a lifetime member of the Texas Exes. Maybe it's just that I've been disappointed so many times before. And every year it's the same thing: Texas has a great recruiting class; Texas is highly ranked in the pre-season polls; Texas self destructs in the big games.

Sooner or later you have to detect a pattern and try to learn from it. Texas teams seem to consistently underperform. Why is that? I think it's pretty clear that it comes down to coaching. But DeLoss Dodds doesn't seem to have figured that out. He continually hires great PR men (who excel above all else at selling themselves) and continually misses out on great coaches.

On the other hand, maybe we are #2. We'll know for sure when we hear the flushing sound as our season goes down the — uh — drain.

I am not ...

I am not a celebrity endorser, but I would like to recommend NerdBooks.com. I found out about NerdBooks from a blog entry by Gene Bob.

In that missive, Gebo mentioned that you could use an in-store kiosk to order from the website and get internet pricing. I interpreted this as a sneaky (but not necessarily frowned upon) way to save money over the normal retail price charged in the store. I wasn't sure if the order process allowed you to specify in-store pickup or if it was shipped like usual, but arrived quickly for those of us in the DFW metroplex.

I thought of NerdBooks today because I suddenly needed a book of the nerd variety. In the past I've had the choice of ordering off the internet and waiting several days, or paying significantly more to get it immediately at the local Barnes&BordersNobleBookStop. So I thought, if you can use an in-store kiosk to place an order for in-store pickup then surely you can do it over the web as well. So I started the purchasing process only to discover no in-store pickup option on the shipping method page. So I called them on the phone to see how much more their in-store price was.

That was when I learned the secret handshake. To do in-store pickup you choose the cheapest shipping method (DHL ground) and then, on the next screen, put in a comment that tells them that you want to pick up the book in the store, so please don't charge shipping or give the book to DHL. Of course, if you don't live close to Richardson, TX this is not an option. As they say, "your mileage may vary."

I now have my book at internet prices, picked up locally. Makes me tingly all over. Or maybe I'm just itching from my encounter with Books, the dog. I'm allergic to dogs. But don't let Books stop you from visiting NerdBooks — Books is very well behaved and doesn't jump all over you or force himself on you. I sort of invited him over and got a lick on the hand and gave him a pat. And now that I think of it, I didn't notice if Books was a he or a she. Just didn't look. So please don't bark at me if Books is a girl.

Terrorists Spread Plague at DFW

I participated in a bioterrorism exercise today. I wish I could hold you spellbound for several hours with fascinating stories about it, but I cannot. Even if I were a great storyteller, which I'm not, there simply weren't any great stories to tell.

Ever since 9/11 there have been lots of these little emergency preparedness exercises. This one involved several counties in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex and tested the ability to dispense medicine to deal with a bioterrorism attack. The scenario was the dispersal of pneumonic plague through the ventilation system at DFW airport. By the time the incident is detected the victims are spread all over the area and several centers are setup to
dispense the medicine (doxycycline).

I was participating as a victim at the Collin County site. The exercise lasted 5 hours and basically consisted of telling paramedics that I felt fine, filling out a form (name, address, age, drug allergies, pregnancy status, etc.) and getting a bottle of antibiotics. I did this something like 15 times because the goal was to see how fast people could be processed. Some victims naturally exercised certain parts of the system (e.g. pregnant women had to be handled differently) and others were randomly chosen to play a role where they claimed certain conditions to force special handling.

Perhaps the funniest part of the day came from watching the police. At the beginning of the day they were all decked out in storm-trooper boots, dark green camo pants, bullet proof vests, mirrored sunglasses, and camo do rags. They had pistols strapped to one leg, a big pouch of who-knows-what on the other leg, and carried M-16's (or other real assault weapons). That was when it was only 80 or 85 degrees. By noon the rifles were gone, along with the vests and do rags. A little while later all of the weapons and pouches were gone, too. I guess it was just too hot to wear and carry all that stuff. The guys who looked so macho and cocky at the beginning were sitting around, talking and laughing, long before the last victims collected their umpteenth (empty) bottle of medicine.

Summer's Out For School!

Summer is over here in the Plano ISD, and a lot of us are PISD about it. It seems that the school schedule is driven more by the vacation plans of the wealthy than by any real educational goals. The driving factors seem to be:

• Must have 1 week fall break for vacation


• Must have 1 week spring break for vacation


• Must have 2 week winter break for vacation


• Cannot have the hassle of semester exams hanging over our dear little ones' heads while they're on winter vacation


• Must keep semesters balanced (same no. days in each)

Those who cannot afford 4 or more vacations per year (summer vacation is assumed above) don't come to the community feedback sessions to voice their opinion regarding the break — perhaps they're working? They're also the most likely to lack the internet connections required to participate in the online polls, and they're the least likely to vote. Those things all make it much easier to ignore their views and to claim that the schedule reflects the wishes of the community.

So why is it that I don't know anyone who likes the early start?

The legislature might fix this problem for us due to financial issues, but I'm not holding my breath hoping that the monied interests won't figure out how to win there as well.

In case you aren't up on the issues of school finance in Texas, the legislature is meeting in special session to try to give schools more money. Some want more controls along with that money, and one of the controls says you can't piss away millions air-conditioning schools in August if you have cheaper alternatives, like eliminating fall break and keeping school in session until the beginning of June (or at least the end of May).

But, of course, "local control" is a favorite catch phrase for zealots of all stripes.

Aside #34.0625: Do you know anyone who is home schooling their children who isn't doing it for religious reasons?

So, a time when children should still be playing or going to camp or something like that is being spent in a classroom. No wonder they're in such a surly mood these days.

One up — Another still up

In the past couple of days we've waited anxiously for one group of 7 to return from space and for another group of 7 to return from what might be called deep space.

The first group are astronauts in the US Space Shuttle Discovery and they are currently stuck in space because of cloud cover in Florida. Before that, they weren't sure if they would be stuck in space due to safety concerns related to damage to the TPS (we love acronyms :-). We continue to wait for their safe return.

The second group are submariners in the Russian Navy (cue memories of Alan Arkin in "The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming") who were stuck 190 meters or so underwater in a rescue sub. Thankfully they were able to consume no oxygen whatsoever, preserving their 24-hours supply for three days and surfacing (thanks to a little help from their friends driving a yellow submarine) with that same 24-hour supply. I have to admit to being surprised, though pleased, at their survival.

Aside #32.125: What's with that crazy hat the Russian Admiral wore? Have you ever seen a hat so big outside of a church on Easter Sunday?

Aside #33.333: I've never used links as much as Gebo, but after his recent diatribe I've decided to use them even more infrequently for fear of being publicly identified as an idiot.

Pssst! Click Here!

News Flash: Hell Has Frozen Over!

It's a typically warm August day in north Texas, but I have definitive proof that Hell™ has frozen over, pigs are flying through the air (don't look up without eye protection), and the Catholic Church has decided to allow married priests.

What's the proof? I took my wife's minivan to Sears and her 21-month-old DieHard™ battery actually tested as BAD WHILE STILL WITHIN THE 100% WARRANTY PERIOD!!!!! We got a new battery for absolutely nothing! No labor, no prorating — nothing.

Well, there is the fee for the paramedics who were called when I fainted and bonked my noggin on the floor, so I guess it really wasn't free. But none of that money will be going to Sears.

ICE

If you have email you've probably heard about ICE by now. ICE stands for In Case of Emergency and you are supposed to use those three letters in an entry in your mobile phone's phonebook.

The idea is that people will know who to call if you suffer some ill fate.

So I created the entry with the name ICE and the phone number, 9-1-1.

I'm not sure how this is really supposed to help. If someone is too stupid to call 9-1-1 already I have a hard time believing that they'll be able to figure out how to go through the phonebook of my cell phone.

Ping! Pop! Sprong! Tinkle, Tinkle, Woosh, BANG!

That's what it sounds like when the screws which connect your garage door to the opener strip out, as happened to me on Wednesday while I was putting the door down. Yes down.

I have a 2-year-old insulated 16' door (2-car garage). I think it's strange that the screws striped out, but when you look at the door the screws go into very thin sheet metal. Doesn't sound like a very secure attachment to me. And, of course, the installer doesn't want to admit that they did a shoddy job.

You see, it's my fault. I must've tried to use the door while it was locked. Nope. Or I failed to maintain it properly, such as lubricating it and periodically checking the balance. Actually, I do periodically lubricate my door because my wife likes it to be quiet.

By show of hands, how many of you have ever checked the balance of your garage doors? Do you even know how?

And, of course, other "overhead door" companies (they never call them garage doors) are all in cahoots with each other. They are determined to find something wrong with your door to make you spend a bunch of money. And, of course, the wife buys into it hook, line, and sinker, meaning that I cannot call bullshit and ask them to just fix the damn connection.

So I now have a set of shiny new rollers, a balanced door, and a $336 credit card bill.

The moon is made of swiss cheese

Neil Armstrong discovered that the moon was made of swiss cheese on this date, July 20, in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and sixty nine.

Tee-hee-hee! I just wrote sixty-nine!

Ahem! I was 7 back then, and wasn't aware of any other meanings for 69. But if I had been aware I probably would have giggled my pants off.

Anyway, I'm thinking of Mr. Armstrong's famous words: "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Since "man" in this usage is the same as "mankind" that statement is contradictory. And while I'm too muddle-headed in my advancing age to remember the details, I seem to recall that if you accept as true something which is obviously false then you can use that to prove any silly ol' statement you wish, including that the moon is made of swiss cheese.

And everyone knows that the moon is not made of swiss cheese.

It's string cheese.

Palindromic Arthritis

What in the dickens is "palindromic arthritis"? Sounds like it should be the same forwards as backwards. I searched for palindromes with "hurt", "pain", "ow", "ouch", and so forth and didn't find anything appropriate. Oh, well.

Actually, palindromic arthritis is periodic or recurring arthritis symptoms. It's not a real disease, just a description of the symptoms. It is sometimes the earliest sign of rheumatoid arthritis. Or it can be the early sign of Whipple's disease.

No, Whipple's disease doesn't strike suddenly in the paper goods aisle at the grocery store. :-)

Palindromic arthritis can also be associated with Chrone's disease, Celiac's disease, and irritable bowel syndrome.

So why isn't my gastroenterologist more up to date with it?

Dino-mite!

After much talking and promising and reneging we -- I -- finally painted my 6-year-old's room.

Older bro' got his room painted before he was three, coinciding with the arrival of 2 of 2. The fact that there is no number 3 (and never has been a no. 3 planned) has probably been a big factor in us delaying this remodeling job. When you're about to ignore a child for several months you need to do something to distract him.

But Dos (as in numero dos) has been complaining about his boring white walls for quite a while and we could no longer put it off. Unfortunately, we also couldn't afford an overpriced "artist" to paint his room for him. So shorty got the short end of the stick and has to live with a paint job by his dad.

I don't think the expectations were high, so I was confident that I could exceed them. And I think I did! The finishing touch will be some dinosaur appliqués which cannot be appliquéd until the paint has been dry for 30 days. After that I'll post some pictures.

The theme of the room is dinosaurs. Like many young-uns, the squirt is into dinosaurs. So the bottom of each wall is made up of several layers of brown (as in geologic layers of dirt) with a few dinosaur fossils painted on. Above the dirt is sky to the ceiling, but there are hazy purple mountains in the distance and palm trees, ferns, and rocks in the foreground. A pteranadon is soaring through the sky and a volcano is erupting in one corner. Some glow in the dark stars on the ceiling complete the scene.

Everything is drawn free-hand -- no stencils. No, I am not an artist. But I think I did pretty well, though the texture on the wall was a challenge. You can judge when the pics are posted.

Pickup, my ...

Everyone seems to love the Chevy Avalanche and there have been several copycat vehicles introduced. I don't understand this vehicle type, but am especially bugged by them calling it a pickup.

How can something with a microscopic bed call itself a pickup? What can it pick up? My kids have Tonka™ trucks with more cargo volume!

"OOH! OOH! But you can remove a partition and fold down the back seats to get more cargo space!" Piffle! You gonna fill that space up with gravel? Even if you were willing to deal with the bits that flow around the flattened seatbacks and the dust throughout the cab, how is the front-end loader supposed to put it in there? And speaking of dust, you've just opened your interior to the elements, including the elements that are now blowing at you from your "truck bed".

Not only do you have a pathetic excuse for a pickup, you've got a crappy SUV! No third row seat. No tall covered cargo area. Reduced roof rack. Yeah, I've seen the covers over the bed area -- they're flush with the top of the box. Fine for what it is, but not as useful as a the interior of a true SUV.

Honda's new Ridgeline addresses the open cargo box / lack of a secure cargo area issue by basically raising the bed floor and making it into a trunk lid. Pretty clever. Unless you want to use the bed!

In summary, I think the Avalanche and friends has all the disadvantages of a pickup along with all the disadvantages of an SUV, with a couple of extra hassles thrown in for good measure.

And since we're talking about useless pickups, what's with the full-sized 4-door pickups with the miniscule beds? They look sort of like pickups because the box is a separate piece from the cab (unlike the Avalanche and Ridgeline), but the photographer cut off half of the back end. Now I'm talking about the F-150 SuperCrew, the Toyota Tundra Crew Cab and others of that ilk. Again, what'cha gonna put in that thing? Can you even carry a pair of bicycles (upright) for you and your riding buddy without putting the tailgate down or using a hitch carrier? How about a dirt bike or an ATV? Got enough cargo capacity to help anyone move? Can you fit a bed in that bed? Gimme a break!

Inventories Drop; Crude Spikes -- Sorry 'bout that

Please accept my most humble and sincere apology for the recent spike in crude oil prices following the news of a drop in gasoline inventories. I decided to fill up my truck earlier in the month than normal and appear to have caught the analysts off-guard. Sorry. I'll try not to do it again.

Paris Giving Up Pubic Life

Say, WHAT!

Oh, wait, the headline actually said, "Paris Hilton to Give Up PUBLIC Life".

Must go see eye doc. On the other hand, in her case, doesn't the "real" headline include the mis-seen one? And do you really think it's true?

Temporarily Plaid

Last night, Tiffany (not a Bob - yet) and I went to see "Forever Plaid", put on by the Turtle Creek Chorale at the Meyerson Symphony Center in Dallas. We thoroughly enjoyed the show and highly recommend it. They have another performance on June 17 and tickets are rumored to be available through the TCC website (look for the "Buy Tickets" button).

So why the title, "Temporarily Plaid"? Well, it's not meant as a dig in any way at the show. Rather, I don't think I have what it takes to permanently plaid. True, I was a band fag in high school, but so many years have passed since then that I must admit to the growing leaks in my tune-carrying bucket.

Still, I could appreciate the music jokes (which are actually fairly few) and anyone can appreciate the sight gags (which are more numerous).

And for the mildly, or even moderately homophobic, "Forever Plaid" is a very safe show. It is the regular musical, but with the TCC singing background vocals and participating in a few of the sight gags. You will, however, run into a few couples holding hands in the lobby. Just keep your eyes up and you'll do fine.

About The Holy See

Sun Microsystems issued a press release Wednesday titled "Holy See Chooses Sun Microsystems ...".

Aside No. Sqrt(2)/2: By definition, this means that Microsoft™ is not the chosen one. One might then infer that Microsoft is the anti-chosen one!

At the end of such press releases it is customary to include a marketing blurb about the entity/ies envolved. As expected, there was the normal blurb "About Sun Microsystems"; but there was nothing about the Holy See.

So I went to the Vatican's web site to see if I could find their version of the press release. I couldn't find it. But I did find this blurb about the Holy Father:

The Roman Pontiff, as the successor of Peter, is the perpetual and visible principle and foundation of unity of both the bishops and of the faithful.

But I couldn't find a statement about the Church itself. I guess a reference the Catechism, or maybe the Nicene or Apostles' Creeds would do. I wonder why Sun's press release didn't say anything?

Wouldn't That Be Telling?

Gov. Perry signed an ammendment proposal this week which would make same sex marriages unconstitutional in Texas. A reporter asked him how he would tell gay veterans returning from Iraq that they cannot get married. His answer was that "Texas" had made a decision and that if there was another state that was more lenient then maybe it would be a better place for them to live.

Hmmm.

First of all, same sex marriage is already against the law in Texas so nothing has changed since these gay veterans were deployed to Iraq.

Second, what Perry signed was a proposed ammendment to the TX Constitution. We get to decide (vote) on it later (November?). So the only decision which has been made regarding this ammendment was the wording and to put it to the voters. Though I'm sure it will pass by a wide margin when the time comes.

Lastly, the reporter worked for the Fort Worth Star Telegram. I hadn't realized that Fort Worth was such a hotbed of gay activism.

Too bad we couldn't get that law against suggestive cheerleader routines passed, too. After all, everybody knows that all male cheerleaders are gay and having them bumping and grinding in front of the band is nothing more than recruiting! Half of them have probably already earned at least one toaster.

Midnight at the Oasis

I was saddened to learn about the fire at The Oasis on Lake Travis, outside Round Rock. Having lived in the Greater Round Rock Metropolitan Area for 13 years I had occassion to go there once or twice. It was a special place. I wish them luck in rebuilding.

My last trip to The Oasis was in the summer of 1988. I was there with a gorgeous blonde and talk turned to our respective foibles of dating while in high school. She was disgusted that I had dated a freshman during my senior year. That was just too much of an age difference! Unfortunately, a quick check of the calendar revealed that my current date would have been in the 8th grade at that time.

We've been married for 15 years now.

AquaDoom

A coupon lured me to AquaZoom for a V-hicle cleansing. I chose the Plano location rather than the Dallas location for the obvious reason.

But first, don't rush off to either aquazoom.net or aquazoom.com to learn more about this exciting new option for getting your car cleaned — neither seems to have the right info and a Google search didn't place the car wash's web site (if they have one) in the first page of results.

So what did I think of AquaZoom? I think I won't be going back.

It's not that they didn't do a decent job or that they they charged too much. The problem is basically ease of use. Both the entry and exit to the washing tunnel require turns which are beyond the capabilities of my V-hicle (i.e. within my turning radius). I tend to avoid maneuvers which require me to switch repeatedly between 'D' and 'R', especially when I am being followed by overly eager Bimmer drivers.

There are other things that you may find nice, or not so nice, about AquaZoom and you are free to draw your own conclusions after visiting them.

Under and Over

Last Saturday I nearly dropped my Big Gulp when I saw a petrol station selling the lowest grade of fuel for under $2 per gallon! True, $1.999 isn't much under, but it is under.

Then, bust my britches if the pump didn't sail past $50.00 without stopping and making me start a second transaction to complete my fillup!

Now that I think about it, I should've bought a lottery ticket!

What's In A Name?

As you've doubtless read in my profile (tasty bits displayed to the right) Gene-Bob believes that everyone in Texas has the middle name, Bob. If your parents didn't have the good sense to make it official (i.e. on your birth certificate) then you are obligated to use it as a nickname. So says Gene-Bob. If you read his blog you'll see references to Trish-Bob (who has a blog), Jill-Bob (who used to have a blog), and the aforementioned Judy-Bob.

Monday last, at the local bowling center, I met Judy-Bob. Gene-Bob decided to mosey over in honor of the last week of competition for the Monday night bowling league and he brought Judy-Bob along. I may be wrong, but I don't think Judy-Bob is a blogger, and I don't think she quite gets the whole "Bob" thing. But if you're going to hang around Gene-Bob you have to be ready to shrug your shoulders and say, "whatever", when non-sequiturs pop up.

Shallow Thought #321-½: Are compound names, like Gene-Bob, supposed to be hyphenated?

Speaking of Bananas Foster, I wonder what's up these days with Amber, my "digital" advisor. She sure doesn't sound like a "Bob".

Truth or Consequences?

Last week Newspeak reported that interviewers at Camp Cuba flushed a copy of the Koran down the toilet. This week they are retracting that claim.

In light of the many cases of reporters making up sources and facts to give their stories more "punch" I can believe that this is one more such case. On the other hand, given the desires of the current majority party to silence critics (e.g. the "nuclear option" to eliminate the filibuster) I can also believe that Newsweek is caving to pressure following the increasing unrest that the story has spurred in the middle east.

Will we ever know the truth about this story?

Howard?

After reading this story I am left wondering what his middle name is.

Actually, I don't see how the government can stop this guy. A quick search of on-line phone books shows lots of people with the last name Christ, and certainly we've all met hispanic men named Jesus (pronounced hay-SOOS). So what's wrong with the combined name?

It also brings to mind the story of the man who changed his name to "They" because he thought it would be fun to claim credit for all the things "they" do.

Cat. C-A-T. Cat.

Like most people, my memory of my early elementary school years is limited. But I do remember that reading, of the "Dick and Jane" sort, started in first grade.

Aside #1: Two (possibly large) factors: 1) it was publik skool, and 2) it was in Alabama.

The words on our spelling tests were certainly similar in difficulty to the books we were reading. And I'm pretty sure that 2nd grade was a little harder than 1st.

Things are different now. Here is a table of actual spelling words from my youth and from this week's 2nd grade spelling list:

1970   2005
----   ----
cat    rafflesia
dog    ecosystem
run    biodiversity
see    endangered
ball   extinct
red    genus

It goes on, but I think you get the idea. Things are different now.

Aside #2: Actual is too strong of a word. I'm invoking artistic license and making up the 1970 list, and it is more likely to be early 1st grade level. But I'd be shocked if anyone could produce a 1970 Alabama reading text that included words like my kid is reading, and spelling, now in the 2nd grade.

H2G2 is not great literature

For those not in the know, H2G2 is the abbreviation for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which has two h's and two g's. It also has two a's and three each of i's and e's, but those don't rate inclusion in the hip abbreviation.

For those living in caves, H2G2 is coming to a theater near you. Then again, if you live in a cave you aren't likely to be reading this blog.

Douglas Adams fans are all a-twitter about the new movie, not unlike Star Wars fans about Episode 3, Return of the Dips, or Tolkien fans about the Ring Trilogy. Like those others, H2G2 is likely to be a multi-film franchise (there are 5 books in the H2G2 "trilogy" -- yes, they call it a trilogy).

I've read a couple of the H2G2 books, and I just don't understand the fascination. I like science fiction, so it's not that. It's that the writing seems rather hackish. The author seems to enjoy being odd for the sake of being odd. That's fine, but it doesn't make great literature. Some say that H2G2 contains biting social commentary, but it looks like unoriginal anti-religion, anti-government, anti-pop culture diatribe to me. It isn't great literature.

But maybe the movie will be fun. I like fun movies. I like to laugh. But it ain't great literature and probably won't make a great, classic movie.

For the record, I don't think the Hobbit stories are great literature, either. Again, I think the writing is rather hackish. I haven't seen the movies yet.

Oh, and the Star Wars story isn't that great either. I have seen four of those movies, and I enjoyed them. But they aren't great literature.

So please, let's stop making Adams and Tolkien and Lucas out to be literary giants. Let's just be happy that they make entertaining movies. Well, Lucas does. I assume that the Tolkien and Adams stories will, too.

HomO?

A Reuters story about a lesbian couple who were thrown out of a restaurant says that Sweden's ombudsman against sexual discrimination is known as "HomO".

First, I'm assuming that it's actually the office of the ombudsman, not the ombudsman himself, Hans Ytterberg, which is known by that name. Second, I'm wondering if this office was created solely to deal with gay, lesbian, trans-gender, and similar issues, or if it is the larger sexual discrimination arena (including gender discrimination) that it is involved with, and if the latter, when were sexual orientation issues added and when did the nickname "HomO" get assigned? And last, doesn't the term "homo" have the same negative connotations in Sweden as it does here? I suspect that there would be a bit of a hubbub if the US gummint used the same nickname for an agency which was supposed to protect the rights of homosexuals, etc., etc.

This week in history

This is a busy week in my house for celebrating anniversaries:

• Tuesday: move to Dallas
• Wednesday: 1 of 2's Baptism
• Thursday: most recent wedding
• Friday: met first wife
• Monday (25th): start with current employer

Three of those are 15th year anniversaries (what a week)!

And in case you're wondering, yes, my current wife will be helping me celebrate the day I met my first wife — they are one and the same. :-)

Birds (it always comes back to birds)

I've seen a few stories recently about feral cats.

fe·ral (feer al) adj. 1. wild, untamed. 2. in a wild state after escape from captivity.

It seems that they're becoming a bit of a nuisance in some places. For example, they're being blamed for a decline in songbirds in The Land of Cheese.

But what's really getting the press is one of the proposed solutions to this so-called problem: ¡hunting!

No, not bunting — hunting, as in killing them with a knife, arrow, sling-shot, or gun without trapping them first.

Aside #1: Why don't hunters consider feeders to be a sort of trap?

Mind you, there seems to be plenty of bunting at the press conferences at which the various sides present their respective positions, so you're forgiven for the grammarian... grammastic... grammerical... for the missteak.

For your continued reading, here are a couple of links:

• Feral Friends
• Cats In The News (a blogspot blog spot)

I wanted to include a link from a pro-hunt site, but couldn't find one in 5 seconds.

But I would like to add a new proposal to the debate: have the National Guard do the hunt as a training exercise!

No, not with M16s and tanks, though that might be fun. Instead, I'm proposing that they use .22LR rifles, preferably single shot, though small magazine bolt-action rifles would be okay. The point is that they should be working on their marksmanship on moving targets. This skill could be very usephul in places like Iraq and Aphghanistan. It would be like killing two... er... birds... with one stone.

Yotta on my mind

Okay, I'm calm now. Back to yottabytes...

The IEC proposed that the metric prefixes (kilo, mega, giga, etc.) always refer to the decimal multiples (1000 times the previous multiple). To handle the binary multiple they took the first two letters of the metric prefix and then added "bi". For example, "kilo" becomes "kibi". For the abbreviations, 'K' indicates a decimal multiple while "Ki" indicates a binary multiple.

Unfortunately, this hasn't really caught on. I suspect that the reason is that the IEC is a twitty European standards organization and, like all twitty European standards organizations, they charge you money to read their standards. In the wild and wooly internet this only really works if adherence to your standard is a requirement, either of the government or of a significant customer segment. This one ain't, so very few of the techies seem to know of it, and fewer seem to give a rodent's behind. Which is a shame, really, because it could remove some confusion.

Speaking of twitty Europeans, what's up with money? Multiples, that is. If you've ever read anything about money from Europe (a stretch, I'll admit, for most Merkins) then you've probably figured out that they don't have the same definition for billion as we do. Actually, the Brits have officially, if not practically, adopted the Merkin way, but the rest of old Europe hasn't.

What I'm talking about is how we define a billion as 1000 million but the twitty Europeans define it as a million millions. I agree! Why would a continent that loves the metric system, which uses multiples for orders of thousands get sidetracked by money multiples using orders of a million?

For my slower readers, we (Merkins) define a trillion as 1,000 billions, but the TE (Twitty Europeans) define it as 1,000,000 billions.


Here, in one handy table, is a list of multiples:

          metric       IEC
          decimal     binary      Merkin         TE
value     prefix      prefix      money         money
---------------------------------------------------------
10**3    kilo  (K)   kibi (Ki)   thousand      thousand
10**6    mega  (M)   mebi (Mi)   million       million
10**9    giga  (G)   gibi (Gi)   billion       milliard
10**12   tera  (T)   tebi (Ti)   trillion      billion
10**15   peta  (P)   pebi (Pi)   quadrillion   billiard
10**18   exa   (E)   exbi (Ei)   quintillion   trillion
10**21   zetta (Z)   zebi (Zi)   sextillion    trilliard
10**24   yotta (Y)   yobi (Yi)   septillion    quadrillion

I hope you can put it to good use.

What's in a name?

I was recently confronted by yottabytes. And not just one, but four!

The prefix yotta was unknown to me prior to this confrontation, but I really wasn't surprised to have it come up simply because of the rapid expansion of capacities in the realm of computers. To give some background, in the late '80s my employer was considering the purchase of a new supercomputer. The max disk configuration was 300 and something gigabytes. And when someone whined about that being too small they were told that if they would buy the disk (from that vendor) they could have the supercomputer for free (roughly a $10,000,000 value). And I think they would paint it any color you wanted. (No, it wasn't Cray.)

Today you can buy a 400GB disk for $300. And hold it in your hand. You can buy a terabyte NAS box for $1000. I've heard that large companies are buying storage by the petabyte (actually, I heard that about 3 years ago — I shudder to think what they're buying now).

So back to yottabytes... how much is that? Well, it depends. Are you a decimal person or a binary person?

bad joke alert! There are 10 kinds of people on this earth: those who understand binary and those who don't.

An example: a million dollars is $1,000,000 but a megabyte of computer memory is typically understood to be 1,048,576 bytes. That's because computers are generally binary devices — everything is either a zero or a one. If you use the binary number system then it is often easier to let the prefix "kilo" represent 1024 instead of 1000. It then follows that mega is 1024 kilos, and so on.

But not all computer things are counted using the binary version. Case in point: disk drives. Disk drive capacities are listed using the decimal interpretations of the the metric prefixes. Computer geeks often refer to these values derisively as "marketing megabytes" (or marketing gigabytes), to imply that they are misleading. So geeks must love the recordable/rewritable CD market, because those capacities are actually decimal megabytes/gigabytes, but it can be difficult to know that.

The International Electrotechnical Commission tried to address this several years ago by proposing that the metric prefixes always

AAAARRRRGGGGGH! This crappy software just ate a bunch of my hard work! I give up!

Death *AND* Taxes

People like to highlight our inability to know the hour or the day of various things, like the coming of Christ, the death of a person, or when I'll file my taxes.

But unless Congress does something, I can tell you that my father will die before 2011, and I hope he makes it to 2010. My mother's life is running up against the same deadline.

HA! HA! HA! Get it? DEAD-line! Sometimes I just crack myself up!

Yeah, I know that I still don't know the hour or the day, but isn't it interesting that I am able to predict the year, or a range of years, and be so certain about it? How is that? I'll bet Gene Bob knows. He knows everything.

Okay, I'll let you in on the secret. A couple of years ago W managed to push through a change in estate tax law that causes the tax rate to decrease and the exempt value to increase, with end result that the estate tax will cease to exist in 2010. But the law that set this up expires in 2011, so the estate tax will be restored to pre-law condition in 2011.

W has promised to make the law permanent (in its 2010 form) ever since, but is having problems doing so, especially with the deficit running so high. So I would expect a great number of "suicides" among the monied elderly in 2010.

Once you get over the amazement that I would even suggest such a thing it is possible to start thinking about other effects of this 21st century Jonestown ceremony. For example, those who pass on their estates in 2010 will also stop drawing Social Security and other government benefits.

Since W is also looking at how to prevent those same benefit programs from becoming insolvent maybe he would be willing to combine these things to solve multiple concerns. Here's my (modest) proposal. Let the estate tax law expire. Then, after it expires pass a new estate tax reform which lowers the exempt amount each year while simultaneously raising the tax on the non-exempt amount, culmintating in a 100% tax on the entire estate. You see, not many people are affected by estate taxes. So we need to make it apply to more and more people and to encourage them to pass on as much as possible to their heirs by killing themselves before the estate tax causes them to lose (part or all of) the money.

I should make some extra time to spend with my folks while they're still with us.

Taxes, Part Dos

Well, Gene Bob was right, of course. Only those with very low incomes are not required to file a tax return.

Seems sort of odd, if you ask me. You didn't? Then stop reading now. You see, if the government owes me money, which they do, and they know they do, which they do, then isn't it in their best interest to let me lend it to them interest free for as long as I am willing?

Anyway, what with springing forward for daylight saving time and other factors beyond my control my finance person hasn't completed my return. So today she filed form 4868: "Application for Automatic Extension of Time To File U.S. individual Income Tax Return".

TurboTax seems willing to generate this form, but doesn't make it obvious how to e-file it. Fortunately, there is a handy-dandy phone filing system (1-888-796-1074). Oddly, given that it is in their interest to keep my money as long as possible, the phone system completes the transaction by informing me that form 4868 will no longer be available next year.

Taxes

If you talk about death, you have to talk about taxes, right?

As most Merkins are aware, an important date is fast approaching: the annual celebration of the birth of my dearly departed step-grandmother! Her life was important, if for no other reason than the income tax deductions that she afforded my grandfather.

This year I may be joining the ranks of tax outlaws by failing to file my taxes in time. I say "may" because I might not owe any money, and I don't think you're legally required to file if you don't owe money. On the other hand, you never know 'til you know, if you know what I mean.

Of course, I could just send them a five pound box of money before the 15th, just to be safe, and then file for a refund. But that would tax my budget, which is already under the not inconsiderable strain of too many 0% credit cards (which don't stay 0% forever).

Speaking of strain, what's up with this so-called "marriage penalty" that I keep hearing conservatives whining about? If you keep yer women at home where they belong there isn't a marriage "penalty", but a pretty decent tax savings! The only way for a married couple to pay more taxes than two separate filers is if both of them work, and Everybody Knows that God doesn't approve of that! If the conservatives don't want to look like a bunch of shipping containers for hippopotamuses (you know, hippo-crates) then they should do like all God-fearing Wahabists and forbid married women from working.

(Aside: for a proper citation of the phrase "Everybody Knows", please hop on over to, or back over to, Gene Bob's blog.)

Death

The issues surrounding the recent deaths of two famous people are difficult. Perhaps even too difficult to discuss in a forum such as this. But I'm an idiot (as I'm sure some commenter will point out) so here I go...

First, I think it's very important to try to follow the wishes of the patient, insofar as they are known. A great deal of the Terri Schiavo case has revolved around exactly that, which is good. By the way, I think that Terri's wishes are stated quite simply in her blog.

Oh, don't get all huffy with me! My best friend on this earth has lain in a state quite similar to Terri Schiavo's (well, before her death), for almost 9 years. It is quite distressing to see him in this state and to consider what he might be experiencing, if anything. When I visit Tom in the nursing home he will sometimes turn toward noises and will sometimes look at his visitors. He moans and groans as well. But I have never been able to get Tom to perform any action that I can believe is willful and repeatable.

One of the last media shows before Terri Schiavo's death was with her parents claiming that they had begged Terri to just say, "I want to live," and that she replied with a loud protracted "I".

Bullshit! I've heard that yell from Tom many times. It could just as easily have been no, but without the ability to properly form the 'n' or 'o' sounds.

Mind you, I'm not saying that Terri wasn't trying to say that she wanted to live; I'm just saying that it is impossible to know what she was trying to say.

The whole situation sucks.

RFC 2550

It's April Fool's day and so I spent a bit of time looking at internet sites which have been known in the past to post special things on this day. Internet news sites also listed a number of past April Fool's day pranks, including such things as April Fool's RFCs. The nice thing about April Fool's RFCs is that they are permanently in the RFC databases and can be read at any time.

One that I found particularly amusing today is RFC 2550, titled "Y10K and Beyond", from April 1, 1999. This RFC criticizes Y2K solutions as being just as short-sighted as the practices that created the Y2K problem in the first place. The author also suggested alternate names for the Y10K problem: YAK and YXK. 'A' is the hexadecimal representation of ten while 'X' is the Roman numeral representation.

Later in the document he mentions a Y100K problem (caused by using 5 digits for the year), but doesn't mention the same alternative notations as he did for the Y10K problem. That's too bad, because the hexadecimal representation of one hundred is "64". So writing about the Y64K problem would have been deliciously ambiguous! Especially so because of the confusion about the meaning of 'K'!

Post For The Blog Eater!

This post is an offering for the blog eater. It is offered in the spirit of lines which were posted at the beginning or end of Usenet News posts so that their loss by buggy NNTP implementations would not affect the actual message.

Yes, I've been having problems with blogger/blogspot eating my carefully crafted prose. I spend valuable time writing something I hope will be of everlasting value to the world, only to have it disappear forever when I click the "Publish Post" button.

:-(

New Fangled Stuff

A recent copying error (of an email address) got me to wondering about the difficulty of teaching an old dog new tricks. It was only in the last year that I finally got rid of my keypunch machine, so I'm not what you would necessarily call the most forward thinking technologist. :-)

I also fondly remember how my colleagues and I used to deride editors such as vi and emacs as "Fool Screen Editors". We believed that if you made it easy for fools to use computers they would do foolish things with them. Come to think of it, we were dead-on in that prediction (though few people today would call those editors "easy").

And don't even get me started on WYSIWYG word processors! If you couldn't hack TeX or troff you had no business writing anything in the first place!

Gotta go feed my mouse.

Divine Intervention

A recent reference by Gene Bob about Divine Intervention (in this case a lightning strike on the transmission tower broadcasting Air America) caused me to recall a Divine extortion scheme involving Oral Roberts.

In 1987 Oral Roberts informed his flock that God had appeared to him and demanded that he raise US$8 million by March of that year or God would "call him home". There was immediately a campaign mounted under the banner "LORD", which stood for Let Oral Roberts Die. The goal was to convince people to NOT contribute to Oral Roberts' fund raising effort!

The "LORD" button was quite popular on the UT campus. Sadly, I didn't save one of the buttons. And, of course, Oral is still with us.

I don't wanna grow up / When I was your age

As Gene Bob reported recently, I just celebrated a birthday. One of the benefits of having kids (and sometimes there don't seem to be many) is that birthdays have to have gifts and cake. So I asked for a Lego X-Wing Fighter. And I always get what I want!

But it makes one think... I can remember a time when I was thrilled that my parents had given me an empty box from the Dixie™ paper cups. It had a clear plastic window in it! Pure Joy! I didn't have a cool space toy, but I had a box with a plastic window in it!

All together now... And I was grateful!

Unfortunately, my younger brother was as upset about me getting the Dixie cup box as I was happy to have it. So he pushed me down the stairs to the basement.

Dandelion Crop

I pay my kids 10¢ for each dandelion they bring me from my yard — as long as it hasn't gone to seed yet. If it's gone to seed they get fined (15¢). Of course they've figured out that it's best to quietly destroy the ones that have gone to seed so that I don't find them.

Thankfully, they don't yet appear to be cultivating dandelions, though I'm sure they'll figure out the financial benefit of that someday. :-)

Incredible!

The Incredibles was released on DVD yesterday and my (much) better half found it for sale at Target for only $15.99. It was even coupled with a coupon for a 4-pack of flavored fizzy water.

We're the sort of parents who prescreen movies before letting our kids watch them and usually try to have the first kid viewing during daylight hours. Maybe that's overprotective, but pundits are getting increasingly concerned, as am I, about the accelerated aging of our children. I'd prefer to allow my kids to be innocent for a bit longer, though it's hard to do unless you home school (which I personally think is a mistake).

Anyway, I watched The Incredibles last night and loved it! Two big toes up!

There is no profanity, no nudity, only the faintest hint of sexuality. The violence is bloodless, all body parts remain attached, and no internal organs are exposed or removed. If your kids can handle Popeye™ or Tom & Jerry™ or other classic cartoons then they can probably handle The Incredibles.

We plan on having a pizza-and-movie picnic in the living room this weekend. I'm sure it'll be incredible. :-)

10 MPG

I saw a pick'em-up truck today with 10 MPG on its vanity license plate. Some vanity plates are a challenge to figure out (like "FXUN8" :-), but this wasn't one of them. It was on a jacked up Ford F-250 Super Duty with oversized tires, 4-wheel drive, and a V10 engine. So I think it's safe to assume that his plate refers to his gas mileage.

Which leaves me to wonder, is he bragging? If so, what does his other vehicle's vanity tag say? 80 IQ? HSDROPOUT? 4 INCHES?

From the Big House to the Trailer Park

By now we've all had time to adjust to the fact that Martha is out of prison. She will be spending the next 5 months under Estate Arrest at her "winter" home (on 150+ acres) in New York.

Talking Heads are chattering endlessly about the resurgence of the Martha Stewart brand since she entered prison. Of course they talked about how her demeanor prior to prison hurt her image, but they've talked more about her "transformation" in prison. She is even rumored to be concerned about (women's) prisoner's rights. Then it hit me! It's BRILLIANT!

Where can you buy Martha Stewart™ branded products? K-Mart. Who shops at K-Mart? The kind of people who would be pleased to know that Martha is concerned about the treatment of prisoners!

Martha was always an inspiration to the little people. Martha's "style" wasn't about purchasing expensive things, but about making them. From scratch. Rich people, if they watched her shows at all, used it for ideas to give to decorators and caterers. The rest of us thought, "I can do that." Of course it was a farce, because even Martha couldn't do that without the effort and expertise of an army of assistants, but that was hidden from us. We would look at Martha and all her riches and finery and pretend that she made it all from the same kinds of scraps that we throw away every day.

And while we may have been upset with the idea that Martha had gone all uppity on us with her insider trading and all, her stint in prison reaffirmed her connection to the little people. And now she's going to be helping us fight for better treatment for Bubba and Betty-Jo when they find themselves in the lock-up because of the basic injustice of the world run by the haves (who look just like Martha).

Too Clever For Their Own Good

As mentioned in the previous post, I am the owner of a brand-new Compaq Presario SR1300NX computer. Due to factors beyond our control we have the need for floppy disk drive in this computer. A quick glance inside the floor model revealed that it does have both a floppy connector on the motherboard and the proper power connector on the power supply. So I opted to have what I assumed would be the cleaner option and purchased an internal floppy drive and cable.

Sadly, Compaq doesn't believe in internal floppy drives.

There is a removeable panel in the front cover between the removeable media slots (e.g. compact flash) and the front audio/USB/Firewire ports. Taking this off reveals an unused 3.5" drive bay which would be perfect for a floppy drive save for three things: first, the opening in the case faceplate is 6" wide; second, the drive bay is left justified in that space; and third, the mounting system doesn't let me mount the drive in the proper position front-to-back (it either sticks out half an inch or is recessed half an inch.

So scratch that option. There are some full size bays near the top for things like CD drives. You can buy an enclosure to hold a floppy in an attractive fashion in such a space. Unfortunately, Compaq strikes again. Apparently it just isn't sexy enough to have the front of a CD drive visible in the front, so they have a little trap door in front of two positions where they want you to install your CD/DVD drives. These trap doors are opened from the inside by the force of the disk tray opening. They even have a little button on the door which you must hope will line up properly with the eject button on your drive, if you wish to use an aftermarket drive in this beast.

I'm going to see if I can remove one of the trap doors without doing too much injury to the case. I'm hoping to use one of those floppy enclosures, though the possibility still exists that Compaq's sexy mounting system won't let me install that at the proper depth either. Oh, well. There is still the option of an external USB floppy drive.

Don't Give Me Any Ideas!

My wife decided that she just couldn't face running TurboTax this year on her old PC (266MHz Pentium 2). Gotta get a new one. Wouldn't let me build it myself (too expensive :-). So after gathering requirements and doing a bit of research on the web we ended up at the local Fry's where we picked a Compaq Presario SR1300NX ($429 with $50 mail-in rebate).

It needed more memory and a floppy, so I jotted down some info so the sales droid could write up the ticket while I went to pick up the floppy and a cable. Products in hand, I swung back 'round the information/assistance kiosk, picked up my order form and headed to checkout.

SCREEEEEECH! (sound of coming to an abrupt and lengthy halt)

The floppy I had chosen had a sticker saying it was $9.99 but the computer said it should have been $12.99. Any customer service rep worth their salt would have immediately given me the lower price (Fry's price stickers identify the product, so there was no chance that I had switched the prices) and made a note for someone to check other products on the shelf to make sure that all were properly priced. But I was at Fry's. The register monkey had to GO LOOK AT THE PRODUCTS ON THE SHELF before it could do anything OBVIOUS! :-(

While I'm waiting, still (barely) patiently, I lean up against the counter and hear a muffled POP along with a sensation of something ever so slightly giving way to my hip. "Hmmm," I think, "What was that?" I reach into my jacket pocket and find that a ketchup packet (from Whataburger) has burst. Ugh. I pull out a hand full of red, sticky, "fancy" ketchup. It looks not entirely unlike blood. Would probably look even more not entirely unlike blood were it to ooze between my fingers as they were squeezing harder and harder around the neck of the closest Fry's employee.

After cleaning up my hands I glanced at the memory module that the reg-monk had fetched from "the cage" prior to swinging off in search of the floppy aisle. It (the memory) wasn't what I needed. Since my monkey was off researching errant floppy pricing I tried to get the attention of someone else to check on the issue with my memory module. Nice idea, wrong store. My monkey returned at the same time that I succeeded in getting the attention of a manager. He must've been waiting for the Clearasil™ to dry before he talked to a customer.

By the time I had the right memory and the $9.99 price for the floppy the ketchup in my pocket was dry. I had spent AT LEAST 30 minutes at the register. No wonder I purchase most of my computer stuff over the internet — I get it faster and with less hassle!

Diversity?

A front page article in today's Plano newspaper reports on a public art project to recognize the history of Plano's Douglass Community. The Douglass Community is an historically black neighborhood named after Frederick Douglass, a slave and abolitionist.

So what's wrong with this? Well, nothing, I guess. But two things strike me as a tad bit... odd. First, the project is a mosaic to be placed along the train tracks where, I presume, it will only be visible to people riding the DART train. That doesn't seem very public to me, and also hints at the "wrong side of the tracks" stereotype.

Secondly, the two artists featured in the story (I don't know if there are others or not) are white. The photo accompanying the story doesn't show much of the art (which is not yet complete or even partially installed), but I can't help but worry about the style and theme(s). Will they reflect the community and its history (and future)? Or will it be a typical white bread interpretation? The article makes no mention of the opinions, good or bad, of anyone living in the Douglass Community today.

Or am I being a racist by suggesting that only black artists should have been chosen to produce art recognizing a black community?

The Big Two-Oh!

My truck's oh-dough-meter just turned over the big two-oh. Yep, twenty thousand miles! In only 1725 days! That's 1,298.5 furlongs per fortnight, which seems rather high given that I work at home and walk my kid to school most days.

Must be those runs to Home Depot, Whataburger, and bowling.

At this rate, my son, who can be seen in the pictures of my truck and who just turned 8 today, will start driving this truck before it hits 55. 55,000 miles, not 55 mph. It's slow, but not that slow. :-)

R.I.P. Dick-Bob

Pro bowling pioneer Dick Weber died in his sleep on Feb. 13, 2005. He had just returned from the ABC (bowling) championships in Baton Rouge. He was 75.

Weber began making a living from bowling in 1955 when he toured with a Budweiser sponsored team. Three years later he helped found the PBA. Many will remember Dick as a fixture on Saturday-afternoon bowling broadcasts in the 60's and 70's.

While some think that Bob-ness comes from living in Texas, I believe that it is more a state of mind. And if making your living from bowling isn't synonymous with Bob-ness, well, then I just don't know what is. So here's to ya, Dick-Bob. The weather guessers around here are predicting more thunderstorms than usual this spring, they just didn't realize that it was because God has a new bowling partner.

Pope John Paul II, Part II

A couple of weeks ago I wondered if God was well pleased with Pope Johnny P Numero Dos swatting away His symbols of peace, love, and the Holy Spirit. Wasn't he rushed to the hospital the very next day?

Beloved, never avenge yourselves,
but leave room for the wrath of God;
for it is written, "Vengeance is mine,
I will repay, says the Lord."
     -- Romans 12:19

For extra credit, what is Paul quoting in this passage from his letter to the Romans?

My Lent Filter Is Clogged

Jesus H. Christ! Is it Lent already?

Went to church on Ash Wednesday to get my ashes and couldn't help but notice the diversity among the parishoners here in Plano. Our fair town has a very homogeneous image, but I saw people with all kinds of different hair colors. That's a start, isn't it?

Anyway, it isn't just that Lent seems early this year, it actually is early this year. Last year Ash Wednesday was on February 26th. You see, Ash Wednesday is 46 days before Easter, and Easter is the first Sunday after the first full moon that occurs on or after the vernal equinox. Except that we aren't really talking about the astronomical vernal equinox or the astronomical full moon, but the ecclesiastical ones. There is a table maintained by the Church that defines the ecclesiastical full moons, and the ecclesiastical vernal equinox is always on March 21.

No, these aren't the same tables used by Astrologers.

What? You don't have access to the church lunar tables? Well, you're in luck. Some geek named Oudin had way too much time on his hands back in 1940 and came up with the following set of equations to compute the month and day of Easter using only the year, y, as input.

c = y / 100
n = y - 19 * ( y / 19 )
k = ( c - 17 ) / 25
i = c - c / 4 - ( c - k ) / 3 + 19 * n + 15
i = i - 30 * ( i / 30 )
i = i - ( i / 28 ) * ( 1 - ( i / 28 ) * ( 29 / ( i + 1 ) )
    * ( ( 21 - n ) / 11 ) )
j = y + y / 4 + i + 2 - c + c / 4
j = j - 7 * ( j / 7 )
l = i - j
m = 3 + ( l + 40 ) / 44
d = l + 28 - 31 * ( m / 4 )

Gene, put down your hand. Yes, Gene, I see the 19 times y divided by 19. No, that isn't the same as y. Why? Because these are all integer operations. That means that you throw away any fractional parts.

Let's work through a bit. This is 2005, so y = 2005. We immediately compute c to be 20.05, but since we're doing integer division we throw away the .05 and are left with c = 20. Still with me? Good. Plugging 2005 into the equation for n gives us

n = 2005 - 19 * ( 2005 / 19 )

After doing the integer division shown inside the parentheses we get

n = 2005 - 19 * 105

And that is clearly 10.

If you are determined you can finish the calculations (be careful with your precedence rules) and figure out that Easter will fall on March 27th this year. At least for the Roman Catholic Church and the Protestants. Yes, the Protestant churches, even the Suthren Babatists, follow the Pope's rules on this one.

Shallow Thought #1: Do I have to read phishing emails on Fridays in Lent?

Hope you've all recovered from the Mardi Gras celebrations. And speaking of Mardi Gras, you can figure it out from Easter as well. Once you know when Easter is you count backwards 47 days and you find yourself on Mardi Gras.

No, they don't give you beads if you go to church on Mardi Gras.