Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Pickup, my ...

Everyone seems to love the Chevy Avalanche and there have been several copycat vehicles introduced. I don't understand this vehicle type, but am especially bugged by them calling it a pickup.

How can something with a microscopic bed call itself a pickup? What can it pick up? My kids have Tonka™ trucks with more cargo volume!

"OOH! OOH! But you can remove a partition and fold down the back seats to get more cargo space!" Piffle! You gonna fill that space up with gravel? Even if you were willing to deal with the bits that flow around the flattened seatbacks and the dust throughout the cab, how is the front-end loader supposed to put it in there? And speaking of dust, you've just opened your interior to the elements, including the elements that are now blowing at you from your "truck bed".

Not only do you have a pathetic excuse for a pickup, you've got a crappy SUV! No third row seat. No tall covered cargo area. Reduced roof rack. Yeah, I've seen the covers over the bed area -- they're flush with the top of the box. Fine for what it is, but not as useful as a the interior of a true SUV.

Honda's new Ridgeline addresses the open cargo box / lack of a secure cargo area issue by basically raising the bed floor and making it into a trunk lid. Pretty clever. Unless you want to use the bed!

In summary, I think the Avalanche and friends has all the disadvantages of a pickup along with all the disadvantages of an SUV, with a couple of extra hassles thrown in for good measure.

And since we're talking about useless pickups, what's with the full-sized 4-door pickups with the miniscule beds? They look sort of like pickups because the box is a separate piece from the cab (unlike the Avalanche and Ridgeline), but the photographer cut off half of the back end. Now I'm talking about the F-150 SuperCrew, the Toyota Tundra Crew Cab and others of that ilk. Again, what'cha gonna put in that thing? Can you even carry a pair of bicycles (upright) for you and your riding buddy without putting the tailgate down or using a hitch carrier? How about a dirt bike or an ATV? Got enough cargo capacity to help anyone move? Can you fit a bed in that bed? Gimme a break!

1 comment:

Gene said...

Men buy pickups so they can be manly; the fact that these "hybrid SUV/pickup" things have minimal practical use doesn't mean that Bubba can't be 6 feet off the ground, looking down on those Prius and/or Cadillac XLR drivers, thinking that his scrotum are now 3 sizes larger than they were before he bought his Hybrid.