Harry Couple of Weeks

There are people out there who have no clue about what's going on in the world. I doubt those people read blogs, but just in case they do (and happen to be reading mine), this post is about the phenomenon that is Harry Potter.

This past month saw not just one, but two (count with me: 1, 2!) major Harry Potter events:

1. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, the 5th movie in the series, was released on July 11 (I think that's right — it seems so long ago now)
2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the last Harry Potter book ever, was released on July 21

If you've ever been to my house you know that it is populated with Potterheads. No, we don't have a snitch inlaid in the foyer tile, though that's not a bad idea! But you are likely to see a wand or two lying about. Maybe a Hogwarts robe. Probably a book or DVD.

So July was a very exciting month. Both kids wanted to go to the first showing of the movie, but I refused to go to a midnight showing of anything besides the Rocky Horror Picture Show. But we did go on opening weekend. In fact, we went to a 9:30 a.m. showing (because that was the cheapest ticket).

I liked the movie. The kids loved it. I'm sure we'll be adding the DVD to our set. I think there were two things that prevented me from liking the movie more: first was that there were so many things that just couldn't be made to fit in the time limits of a movie that I would really liked to have seen. I mean, my internal movie projector has imagined them, but it would be interesting to see them on the big screen. And second, there were several things that just seemed to be missing the energy they should have had, or were just plain done wrong.

Case in point: the very first scene. Privet Drive is in the middle of suburbia. English suburbia, yes, but suburbia nonetheless. So why is Harry walking through a wheat field? Maybe they were trying to highlight Harry's loneliness or feeling of isolation. But come on! What is more lonely and depressing and oppressive than mile after mile of tract housing? That's how I picture Privet Drive. Faux upscale tract housing; each house predictably different from the ones on either side but with a repeating pattern more obvious than wallpaper.

And then there's Mrs. Figg. She sure didn't seem all that fussed about the dementors in the movie, but why not? I fear that in trying to cut down all the stuff in the book they are tempted to keep only the exciting bits, and then they discover that having only high tension and excitement becomes numbing long before you reach the end. So they have to take emotion out of high tension or high excitement scenes. But then it just feels wrong. I think it would have been far better to settle us back down and set us up for the next jolt by using calmer passages from the book.

But overall it was a decent movie, and those who only watch the movies and don't read the books may not understand my feelings on this.

And then there was the book. Don't worry, I won't spoil it for anyone. We were one of those million who pre-ordered from Amazon with the promise that it would arrive on the release date. And it did. But once again I refused to go to the midnight sale at the local Barnes and Noble or Borders. Noon delivery from the post office was good enough for me — I don't care if Evelyn Wood had already finished reading her copy and sold it to Half Price Books.

As it turns out, my kids were at their grandparents' house on the 21st, so we didn't get to start reading until that evening. But we stayed up late to read a few chapters out loud.

One promise I made to my kids was that I wouldn't read ahead and I wouldn't let anyone else read ahead. That last bit was required to keep 2 of 2 happy because 1 of 2 would've hogged the book while I was at work during the week and would undoubtedly have let one or two facts slip out accidentally on purpose, spoiling some excitement.

To that end, I didn't open the package when the book arrived. I waited until I picked them up that evening, opening it in the car and reading aloud while 6/10ths drove. And each night I hid the book until the next evening when I returned home.

By the following Saturday morning we were only about halfway done. But 2 of 2 had an ear infection and 6/10ths was feeling lousy and coughing her head off and I was feeling kind of down and had a headache that just wouldn't go away. So we spent practically the entire weekend reading off and on. We finished the book early Sunday afternoon.

I read the entire thing aloud. Did voices for all the dialog. Hagrid in any state (calm or angry) is the hardest on my voice. Yelling is also hard after awhile, and there is a lot of yelling in this book. The kids were particularly amused by my impression of Phlegm.

I don't know if this book just invited it, or if my kids are just developing, but there were a lot of breaks where we each offered our predictions about what would happen next, or what would happen to some character, or how some turn of events might affect things later on.

And we kept saying, "she can't kill Harry yet, there're too many pages left!"

But boy did he (and just about everyone else) find themselves in mortal danger at every turn. And strangely, I don't recall any mention of Mrs. Weasley's clock! I guess mentioning it would've been a forhead slapping, DOH!

I liked this book a lot. I liked the lot of them a lot, but I think this one might be my favorite.

I wonder if Ms. Rowling will allow someone to do a spin-off based on Luna Lovegood? They could probably make a pretty good sitcom around that character. And by "they" I mean the BBC. Us Merkins would screw it up.

Peep! (Part Two)

Wow, I'm a bit stunned. In my previous post I whined about how smoke alarms never seem to signal a low battery at a convenient time. Then I bemoaned the inability to find a replacement of the same brand and how this was a problem caused by incompatibilities in the way interconnected smoke detectors are interconnected.

The second comment to that post is Anonymous, but it's pretty clear that it was posted by a FireX employee. I can guarantee that a Kidde employee wouldn't have included the comment about FireX making smoke alarms for over 25 years.

But it brings up a serious issue: fire safety and the impact of standards on safety. I'd like to ask the nice folks at Firex (and Kidde and all other brands) two questions:

1. Why don't you make your batteries easier to replace?
2. Why don't you make it easier to replace an old or failed smoke alarm?

Oh, and here's another one:

HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?

Years ago you'd see a report on the evening news about a fatal house fire and the reporter would say in somber tones, "there were no smoke alarms in the house."

But listen now and the comment is somewhat different.

There were no WORKING smoke alarms in the house.

That one extra word is huge, and it is the reason that I ask how the makers of smoke alarms can sleep at night.

I know from personal experience that replacing the batteries in my old smoke alarms was difficult, and often physically painful. To start with, the battery was hard to get to — you had to remove the alarm from the ceiling to get to it. And far too often, twisting the alarm to remove it from the base plate caused the base plate to come off the ceiling with the alarm. And it was hard to separate the two pieces because there were no really good places to grab hold, and the alarms were large enough around that it was hard to get a really tight grip, and there were lots of sharp little plastic bits. When you did manage to separate the base plate from the alarm, the door was hard to pry open with a fingernail. And when you did get it open there was that infernal 9-volt battery connector that is so hard to get off.

Backing up again to that base plate problem: yes, I could put it on the ceiling so that turning the alarm wouldn't remove the plate with it. But then putting the alarm back on would make the plate come off! Tighten the screws holding the plate, you say? What a brilliant idea! Unfortunately, the screws only go into those stupid keyhole slots. Nothing to hold them tight but friction. And since we're talking about wired alarms, they're mounted over electrical boxes. That means that at least part of the plastic around the keyhole is over air. Plastic flexes under pressure. Do too much and you either break it or you deform it so much that the base plate no longer mates with the alarm. And if you find that happy middle ground, just wait a year and the base plate will have weakened enough that — wait for it — it'll come off with the alarm!

What happens when batteries are too hard to replace? They don't get replaced. Is that the homeowners fault? Partly. But I think the companies who make the devices also share some of the blame. And they know it. How do I know that they know it? Because some new models have batteries that are very easy to replace. My new Kidde smoke alarms have a front accessible battery compartment and don't use that hated battery connector. I look forward to years of easy battery replacements.

But I noticed something. Not all Kidde smoke alarms have this easy to replace battery. FireX also has some, but not all, models with easy to replace batteries. Why not all? What possible reason can they give to justify the deaths that must surely occur because of unreplaced smoke alarm batteries?

And then there's the lifetime issue. Everything has a lifetime. Nothing lasts forever. I accept that. But why is there the vendor lock-in for those wonderful AC powered, interconnected smoke alarms? Are they looking out for the safety of the end-user with that proprietary connector and signaling specification? Or are they trying to support electrical contractors and their own market share?

The anonymous poster was right. Many people lack the skill or confidence or time or money to rewire their smoke alarms while replacing the whole lot. But why should they have to have any skill or confidence or even much time? Why should they have to replace them all at once? Why should they have to rewire? Why should they have to hire a contractor?

I had to replace one of my smoke alarms a few years ago. I was replacing all of the batteries and one alarm started sounding the instant I put in its new battery. Not chirping — full volume alarm tone. I pulled out the battery and called FireX. They replaced the unit and I was reasonably happy. But not anymore.

Again, I accept that everything has a lifetime. But when you're talking about something like this it would sure be nice to be able to replace them over a few months. But that wasn't an option because none of the local retail establishments carry FireX. Faced with the choice to leave a hole where the failed alarm had been (an old, failed alarm was what started this whole thing) and saving up the money, or biting the bullet and replacing them all right now, I chose to replace them all right now.

But why was that choice necessary? How many people can't afford to do what I did? And that isn't even considering the cost of hiring someone since I did it myself. How many people have no choice but to wait. And hope.

There were no working smoke alarms in the house.

Standards are good. Standards save lifes. Ease of use is good. Ease of use saves lives.

How do you sleep at night?

PEEP!

What is about smoke alarms that causes them to peep (or beep, chirp, or whatever you call that sound) at 2 a.m.?

Aside #9V: If you have a night job (meaning that you sleep during the day), does your smoke alarm peep only during the day?

If you don't know what I'm talking about then you're probably one of those sick people who dutifully changes the batteries in their smoke alarms each year when you switch back to daylight saving time (or are you supposed to do it when you go back to standard time?).

But as a founding member of the local chapter of the Procrastinator's Club (well, I will be when I get around to helping found it) I tend to put off replacing the batteries until one of them dies, causing the alarm to start chirping (at 2 a.m.). Actually, I tend to think that the first failure is premature and wait until the second or third before 6/10ths manages to force me to replace them all.

And I did just that — changed all the smoke alarm batteries — a couple months ago. So why did that smoke alarm start chirping at 2 a.m. last week? And why did it chirp 3 times, then stop? For a couple of days. Chirp three more times (at 2 a.m.), then stop? And why did the second one start doing the same thing? And maybe even a third?

After testing the batteries I came to the conclusion that the batteries were not bad, but the smoke alarms had crossed that magical threshold called "the end of the warrantee period". Unfortunately, further research revealed that they were probably well beyond the warrantee period. And when they tell you to replace your smoke detectors every 10 years, they mean it. If you don't follow that advice you can expect to deal with a lot of chirping that stops just before you manage to zero in on the offender. At 2 a.m.

I decided to bite the bullet and replace all of my smoke alarms. That's when I figured out why my builder's own house burned to the ground — it was probably torched by an irate homeowner who was ticked off by the constant and malicious use of products that are either non-standard sizes or regional brands from some other region than our own. Current example: Firex brand smoke alarms. Not sold at Home Depot. Not sold at Lowes. Not sold at Elliots. Not sold at Ace. Not sold at True Value. Not sold at Target. Not sold at Wal-Mart.

What can you get at all those stores? Kidde brand.

I'm not trying to imply that Firex doesn't make good smoke alarms or that Kidde makes a better smoke alarm. I have no way of knowing and have had no complaints regarding my Firex smoke alarms (except for the 2 a.m. chirping). The problem is that all of my smoke alarms are wired together and there is no standard for such connections. You can't replace one Firex smoke alarm with a Kidde if they're wired together.

Why would you wire together smoke alarms? Well, if your smoke alarms are wired together then they will all go off if one senses a fire. So the alarm is sounded throughout your McMansion, helping to ensure that everyone gets out safely.

Guess what I did last weekend? Yep. I bought seven new Kidde smoke alarms and replaced the whole lot. I'm set for another 10 years.

End of Hiatus

I know I haven't posted much in the past many months. But I have a feeling that's about to change.

Why the drought? There are a combination of reasons, most of which I won't go into here, but one that I will mention is concern over any potential impact to my employment.

I started a new job at the beginning of April and, as one might imagine, there were a lot of things that I could have blogged about. After 10 years as a full-time telecommuter I find myself going into an office every day. That alone was probably worth a dozen postings. But even though my identity is fairly well hidden there are still people who might recognize references to my new employer and figure out that I am the author.

And it's not even that my new bosses are particularly evil or pointy-haired — they aren't — but it is a fairly big company and fairly big companies have a tendency to occasionally do pointy-haired things. They can't help themselves.

So while I could have blogged about my new pimps, I choose not to just to avoid the admittedly remote chance of offending them.

But I feel the urge once again and have a supply of topics about which I would like to write. I won't be winning any Pullet Surprises or Webbies; I might not even inspire (m)any comments. And that's okay, because I'm good enough, and I'm smart enough, and, doggone it, people like me!