(Obligatory?) Knee-Jerk Reaction

Since I live in one of the reddest counties in Texas (and the richest), it is my duty, if not always my reflex, to respond in a knee-jerk fashion from time to time. To whit: HOMOPHONES.

I learned yesterday that my school is teaching my third grader about HOMOPHONES! What on God's green earth is a HOMOPHONE and why are they teaching my children about it? Just because I don't home school and can't afford to send my children to a private (Christian) school doesn't mean that I subscribe to the gay agenda and want the schools to brainwash my kids.

But of course, I don't want to appear ignerrent so I'm gonna do some googling to figure out exactly what a HOMOPHONE is.

Aside <B>: Whoever figured out that typing a thing in all caps is an effective way of showing that it is evil was brilliant!

Of course, the key to successful googling is to make some informed guesses about the thing you are searching for and include those terms in your google search. That makes the most relevant links show up at the top of the first page. Therefore, I am going to search for the following sets of terms:

• GAY PHONE
• GAY PHONE SEX
• HOMO PHONE SEX
• HOMO HAND SEX

I won't post the results here because they are too disturbing for a child-friendly blog like mine.

Aside #14 bids:Apparently EBay is involved in the sale of GAY PHONE SEX services (and its variants) because every one of my google searches had a link near the top which said something like "Looking for GAY PHONE SEX? Get it on EBay!"

A little more searching proved what we've all known instinctively for a long time: the arts in general and the lingual arts in particular, are pushing the gay agenda.

Aside #20-to-life:Do you really think the similarity between cunning linguists and cunnilingus is a coincidence?

For example, in addition to HOMOPHONES, English teachers seem to have a fixation on HOMONYMS. The difference between a HOMOPHONES and HOMONYMS is similar to that between LESBIANS and GAYS: all LESBIANS are GAY but not all GAYS are LESBIANS.

Anyway, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this HOMOPHONE stuff and make sure that they stop teaching it in our schools!