May: The Holiday Month

May must be the Latin word for Holiday because this month seems to be chock full of them.

First we had May Day (May 1), which leftist leaning countries use to celebrate the oppression of the common worker for the benefit of the ruling party and people who can goose-step in unison. This year the first of May was also used to commemorate the rights of people to sneak into countries they hate (and which hate them right back).

Next came Cinco de Mayo (May 5), a mostly U.S. celebration of the native Mexicans winning a battle against the French on the way to losing the war. But it fits in with the collective alcoholic tendencies of Americans (motto: "I'll drink to that!"). Notice that Americans are also very fond of St. Patrick's Day and OctoberFest. The common theme is that the cultures associated with these holidays are all known for their beer. I cannot recall a French themed holiday, which seems fitting because the French aren't known for their beer.

In a couple of days we get to celebrate Mother's Day (May 14 this year, but different Sundays in other years), in which we celebrate the oppression of women for the propagation of the species and the benefit of, well, men. 'Nuff said.

Then, at the end of the month we have Memorial Day (May 29, I think). I'm sure that Memorial Day commemorates something, but no one seems to be able to remember what. Some memorial! As with most holidays, Memorial Day, which has been stretched into a whole weekend, requires the consumption of copious quantities of alcohol.

Jim: "Hey, Bob, what did we do last Memorial Day?"
Bob: "I don't remember, but it must've been fun!"
Jim: "I'll drink to that!"

So maybe Memorial Day is to commemorate all the brain (memory) cells which lose their lives each Memorial Day.

Oh, and Memorial Day marks when ladies and old men can begin wearing white patent leather shoes and light colored clothing. They have to stop on Labor Day.

Are there any other holidays in this month?