Thursday, June 08, 2006


Yesterday was a rough day. Have you ever stood up quickly and become light-headed or dizzy? It usually goes away after a few seconds. But yesterday morning I got up from my desk to go to the bathroom and the dizziness didn't go away.

I managed to complete my bio-break without incident and returned to my desk, but quickly went into the kitchen (I'm a telecommuter, so I was at home) and got a bowl, then went to sit down on the couch.

By now the room was spinning quite out of control, which made me nauseated and, predictably, led to the Total™ loss of my breakfast (Total™ cereal and a banana). I was so dizzy and off balance that I almost fell off the couch (I was sitting).

The room finally stabilized a few minutes later, though the dizziness persisted in a lower state for some hours. After that I was woozy for the remainder of the day and am still not 100%.

Then came the Tonight Show. Jay sent Kelly Pickler, of Merkin Idle fame, to interview celebs on the red carpet outside the MTV Movie Awards (?).

OHMYGOD! This woman makes Jessica Simpson look smart! I predict that she will become very rich and get maximum media saturation for the next year or so, then drop (mercifully) from sight when she runs out of new ways to demonstrate her idiocy.

One example: she talked to some guy whom I've never seen before (I'm not a celebrity watcher) and he asked her if she'd ever hugged a Jewish person before. She admitted that she had not and asked him for a hug. While hugging she looks at the camera and says, "I've just hugged my first Jew!". Then, after letting go, she attempted to CROSS HERSELF! She botched it horribly, then asked the Jewish guy if she'd done it right! She thought she was making some sort of Jewish sign!

I almost tossed my cookies again.


Kelly Pickler said...

I expectorate you are Dizzy Gillespie. There is exposed to be a place in the desert called Nausea Creek but it ain't no metropalopolis.

Total serial is known to cause cancer in lab rats, but you'd have to eat 14,604 bushels of corn flakes to get the equivalent amount of testosterone.

Gene said...

The "First Hug Jewish Guy: on the 7 June 2006 Tonight Show was Jeffrey Ross. Since it was still on my TiVo, I noted his name (after reading your blog posting).

Worth noting that Ross crossed himself first, then she attempted .. and blew it big time. I bet she could do The Macarena, though.