Taxes

If you talk about death, you have to talk about taxes, right?

As most Merkins are aware, an important date is fast approaching: the annual celebration of the birth of my dearly departed step-grandmother! Her life was important, if for no other reason than the income tax deductions that she afforded my grandfather.

This year I may be joining the ranks of tax outlaws by failing to file my taxes in time. I say "may" because I might not owe any money, and I don't think you're legally required to file if you don't owe money. On the other hand, you never know 'til you know, if you know what I mean.

Of course, I could just send them a five pound box of money before the 15th, just to be safe, and then file for a refund. But that would tax my budget, which is already under the not inconsiderable strain of too many 0% credit cards (which don't stay 0% forever).

Speaking of strain, what's up with this so-called "marriage penalty" that I keep hearing conservatives whining about? If you keep yer women at home where they belong there isn't a marriage "penalty", but a pretty decent tax savings! The only way for a married couple to pay more taxes than two separate filers is if both of them work, and Everybody Knows that God doesn't approve of that! If the conservatives don't want to look like a bunch of shipping containers for hippopotamuses (you know, hippo-crates) then they should do like all God-fearing Wahabists and forbid married women from working.

(Aside: for a proper citation of the phrase "Everybody Knows", please hop on over to, or back over to, Gene Bob's blog.)