My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Us Nine ...

Today's big news (so far) is that the International Astronomical Union (IAU) has voted to define planet in such a way that Pluto is demoted from plain old planet, or Classical Planet, to Dwarf Planet, or Minor Planet.

I haven't been able to get to the IAU's website this morning (I guess it's overwhelmed) and the major news sites don't seem to think it is important to publish the actual definition, so I don't know if all of those terms are actually in there or if some of them are just the preferred terms of some of the astronomers at the meeting.

But what really concerns me is what the new mnemonic will be to help our children remember the names and order of the planets.

For some time now the English mnemonic has been some variation of "My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas." Without Pluto (Pizzas), what will we use? What did they use before Pluto was found?

Powerless

First I was out of options. Then I was powerless.

Fortunately, the power is now restored.

This evening, at about 6:50 p.m. CDT, our power went out after flickering a couple of times. There was a mild thunderstorm in the area, but we've seen much worse without the power going out. We expected the power to return in a few seconds because it always has in the past — in 9+ years in this house we've never had a power outage longer than a minute or two, and those have been very rare.

Tonight the power was out for about an hour and a half. It finally came back when I left to buy some ice to keep food fresh in an extended outage. In hindsight, I should've gone out immediately.

Another factor which made this event more exciting was the presence of two children in the house. These things are always a much bigger deal for the kids than for the parents. It was nearing bedtime (and nightfall) and kids are much more afraid of the dark than us old folks. So 1 of 2 and 2 of 2 were running around collecting batteries and flashlights and radios and acting like we were suddenly living in the dark ages — or in Lebanon.

I can hardly wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Out of Options

Today was the day that I chose to sell the last of my stock options. Or, at least, the last of my stock options that were "above water".

I was going to have to sell in the next few months anyway, and I just didn't see anything in my crystal ball that made a significant rise in value seem probable. So, since I had the time, I plunked my dime into the pay-phone and called my friendly Stock Option Plan Administrator.

After fees and taxes I'll take home just over two grand. A far cry from the days when I bought a car with stock options, but not bad considering where this stock was selling a few months ago.

Housekeeping

I've been cleaning out my home office and came across a note, so I have to deal with it now. It said:

North Merkin
Central Merkin
South Merkin

Those of you who know me know that I enjoy it when people pronounce American as merkin, as in "Ah'm proud to a merkin!"

Makes me laugh every time.

I'm assuming, of course, that you, gentle reader, know what a merkin is. If not, let me just say that a merkin is a toupé — for the pubic area.

I can only imagine that the aforementioned note was written when I read some news item about nationalist statements in some other "Merkin" country.

So I have to wonder, what is the difference between a North Merkin, a Central Merkin, and a South Merkin? Perhaps a North Merkin is a toupé in the normal sense (i.e. on the head). A South Merkin could be a merkin in the normal sense (i.e. fake pubic hair).

Since the hair on your head is typically visible (in western countries) and the hair down there typically isn't, does that make head hair public and pubic hair non-public?

So what would a Central Merkin be? Fake chest hair? That sort of makes sense if you think of the sayings that something will "put hair on your chest" as meaning that something will make a boy into a man.

Maybe an adventurous reader will propose a mapping of fake hair in different areas to characteristics of nationalists in different parts of the Americas. Politically incorrect, to be sure, but could be humorous.

Color Blind Society?

I was recently laid off after 16 years with the same company. One of the first things my wife said was that I'd need to start dying my hair to avoid age discrimination.

Yep, my hair is almost all gray, and a great many people make the assumption that I am much older than I am. My mother-in-law even reported that she received comments about my age (relative to my wife) from relatives who had seen my wedding pictures — they simply noticed the gray and made an assumption. I was 28 and my blushing bride is only 4 years my junior. And my hair is much grayer now.

As I started looking around in job groups I saw a good many comments from people who felt that their age (50 and up) was causing them problems getting a job in a high-tech field. The comments weren't just about hair color. It was an overall perception of age.

While I'm only 44, I've frequently encountered people who express surprise and admit to thinking I was much older, because of the hair. And it comes up surprisingly frequently, probably because they think 6/10ths (my better half) must be much younger than me and they are intrigued by the prospect of ours being one of those "May-December" romances.

So I've finally decided that I'd rather not get discriminated against for something that isn't true (i.e. I'm not over 50). I got my hair dyed.

Now I have to get used to the color. It's lighter than my natural color and has a bit of a reddish cast to it. It's hard to tell if my uneasiness with it is due to the drastic change (which those who don't know me won't experience) or if the problem is with the reddish tones.

I may have to get it done darker.

RIF / Backyard Progress

The big news this week is that I got laid off on Thursday. Nothin' quite like losing your job in the middle of an expensive construction project!

I know what you're thinking: "What does getting laid off have to do with reading?" RIF is a well known acronym for the Reading Is Fundamental program, but it is also used in the corporate world to mean "Reduction In Force" — a lay off. And since acronyms become words (e.g. scuba and radar) and since any word can become a verb, to rif means to lay off. So I was riffed.

Anyway, the backyard is coming along fine. The wall and fence are up and the preliminary sprinkler work has been done. A couple of piles of dirt have been delivered and are waiting for stronger backs than mine to move them into place. That should happen Monday morning. A few last fence details are also supposed to happen Monday morning and the fence is supposed to be stained that day as well. Sounds like a busy day.

As for the lay off, my employer has a fairly generous severance package so I'm not panicking just yet. But if you know of anyone looking for an experienced senior IT kind of guy (to work in the Dallas area), please leave their contact info in a comment and I'll follow up on it.