Pickup, my ...

Everyone seems to love the Chevy Avalanche and there have been several copycat vehicles introduced. I don't understand this vehicle type, but am especially bugged by them calling it a pickup.

How can something with a microscopic bed call itself a pickup? What can it pick up? My kids have Tonka™ trucks with more cargo volume!

"OOH! OOH! But you can remove a partition and fold down the back seats to get more cargo space!" Piffle! You gonna fill that space up with gravel? Even if you were willing to deal with the bits that flow around the flattened seatbacks and the dust throughout the cab, how is the front-end loader supposed to put it in there? And speaking of dust, you've just opened your interior to the elements, including the elements that are now blowing at you from your "truck bed".

Not only do you have a pathetic excuse for a pickup, you've got a crappy SUV! No third row seat. No tall covered cargo area. Reduced roof rack. Yeah, I've seen the covers over the bed area -- they're flush with the top of the box. Fine for what it is, but not as useful as a the interior of a true SUV.

Honda's new Ridgeline addresses the open cargo box / lack of a secure cargo area issue by basically raising the bed floor and making it into a trunk lid. Pretty clever. Unless you want to use the bed!

In summary, I think the Avalanche and friends has all the disadvantages of a pickup along with all the disadvantages of an SUV, with a couple of extra hassles thrown in for good measure.

And since we're talking about useless pickups, what's with the full-sized 4-door pickups with the miniscule beds? They look sort of like pickups because the box is a separate piece from the cab (unlike the Avalanche and Ridgeline), but the photographer cut off half of the back end. Now I'm talking about the F-150 SuperCrew, the Toyota Tundra Crew Cab and others of that ilk. Again, what'cha gonna put in that thing? Can you even carry a pair of bicycles (upright) for you and your riding buddy without putting the tailgate down or using a hitch carrier? How about a dirt bike or an ATV? Got enough cargo capacity to help anyone move? Can you fit a bed in that bed? Gimme a break!

Inventories Drop; Crude Spikes -- Sorry 'bout that

Please accept my most humble and sincere apology for the recent spike in crude oil prices following the news of a drop in gasoline inventories. I decided to fill up my truck earlier in the month than normal and appear to have caught the analysts off-guard. Sorry. I'll try not to do it again.

Paris Giving Up Pubic Life

Say, WHAT!

Oh, wait, the headline actually said, "Paris Hilton to Give Up PUBLIC Life".

Must go see eye doc. On the other hand, in her case, doesn't the "real" headline include the mis-seen one? And do you really think it's true?

Temporarily Plaid

Last night, Tiffany (not a Bob - yet) and I went to see "Forever Plaid", put on by the Turtle Creek Chorale at the Meyerson Symphony Center in Dallas. We thoroughly enjoyed the show and highly recommend it. They have another performance on June 17 and tickets are rumored to be available through the TCC website (look for the "Buy Tickets" button).

So why the title, "Temporarily Plaid"? Well, it's not meant as a dig in any way at the show. Rather, I don't think I have what it takes to permanently plaid. True, I was a band fag in high school, but so many years have passed since then that I must admit to the growing leaks in my tune-carrying bucket.

Still, I could appreciate the music jokes (which are actually fairly few) and anyone can appreciate the sight gags (which are more numerous).

And for the mildly, or even moderately homophobic, "Forever Plaid" is a very safe show. It is the regular musical, but with the TCC singing background vocals and participating in a few of the sight gags. You will, however, run into a few couples holding hands in the lobby. Just keep your eyes up and you'll do fine.

About The Holy See

Sun Microsystems issued a press release Wednesday titled "Holy See Chooses Sun Microsystems ...".

Aside No. Sqrt(2)/2: By definition, this means that Microsoft™ is not the chosen one. One might then infer that Microsoft is the anti-chosen one!

At the end of such press releases it is customary to include a marketing blurb about the entity/ies envolved. As expected, there was the normal blurb "About Sun Microsystems"; but there was nothing about the Holy See.

So I went to the Vatican's web site to see if I could find their version of the press release. I couldn't find it. But I did find this blurb about the Holy Father:

The Roman Pontiff, as the successor of Peter, is the perpetual and visible principle and foundation of unity of both the bishops and of the faithful.

But I couldn't find a statement about the Church itself. I guess a reference the Catechism, or maybe the Nicene or Apostles' Creeds would do. I wonder why Sun's press release didn't say anything?

Wouldn't That Be Telling?

Gov. Perry signed an ammendment proposal this week which would make same sex marriages unconstitutional in Texas. A reporter asked him how he would tell gay veterans returning from Iraq that they cannot get married. His answer was that "Texas" had made a decision and that if there was another state that was more lenient then maybe it would be a better place for them to live.

Hmmm.

First of all, same sex marriage is already against the law in Texas so nothing has changed since these gay veterans were deployed to Iraq.

Second, what Perry signed was a proposed ammendment to the TX Constitution. We get to decide (vote) on it later (November?). So the only decision which has been made regarding this ammendment was the wording and to put it to the voters. Though I'm sure it will pass by a wide margin when the time comes.

Lastly, the reporter worked for the Fort Worth Star Telegram. I hadn't realized that Fort Worth was such a hotbed of gay activism.

Too bad we couldn't get that law against suggestive cheerleader routines passed, too. After all, everybody knows that all male cheerleaders are gay and having them bumping and grinding in front of the band is nothing more than recruiting! Half of them have probably already earned at least one toaster.

Midnight at the Oasis

I was saddened to learn about the fire at The Oasis on Lake Travis, outside Round Rock. Having lived in the Greater Round Rock Metropolitan Area for 13 years I had occassion to go there once or twice. It was a special place. I wish them luck in rebuilding.

My last trip to The Oasis was in the summer of 1988. I was there with a gorgeous blonde and talk turned to our respective foibles of dating while in high school. She was disgusted that I had dated a freshman during my senior year. That was just too much of an age difference! Unfortunately, a quick check of the calendar revealed that my current date would have been in the 8th grade at that time.

We've been married for 15 years now.